Sleep

Sleep is something that we, as a child, take for granted. Its only later on in life when its 4 in the morning and we are still staring up at our middle-aged ceiling that we begin to understand how lucky we were.

Depression makes it worse, anti-depressives make it even more worse, and anti-virals make it sometimes a (please excuse the pun) nightmare.

I cannot just 'go to sleep' anymore. It takes a little medication and a lot of luck to get me asleep in the first place, but even more difficult to get me to stay asleep for no less and no longer than 8 hours a day. My body will sleep on for a minimum of 10 hours per night, wake up for the next 2 hours and then go to sleep again for anything up to 6 hours at a time. This will not exclude a nap of a couple of hours in the afternoon/early evening.

My Hiv specialist says, all people with Hiv are tired.

Pause, play, fast forward

Life has been a bit complicated the last few months.

No, I'm not going into it.

Well, maybe another time ....

I've just bumped into someone who lives around the corner from my Mum. Bizarre. That someone would actually choose to live there. Although my recollections of it are far from rose coloured, more a greyish taupe to be honest, it was on the grim side at best.

What can people expect? It was a heavy to medium industrial area with very little sunny bits. We always used to joke that I'd never actually seen a tree until I moved to University in London. (This wasn't actually true, it was a rabbit).

Moscow

Russian riot police arrest gay protesters

By Guy Faulconbridge, Reuters

Saturday, 16 May 

• • NORMAL

AP

Russian Gay Rights protestors are taken away by riot police officers in Moscow

Dozens of riot police broke up a gay rights demonstration today before the Eurovision Song Contest final in Moscow, grabbing protesters and throwing them into police cars and a waiting bus.

Those arrested for taking part in the small demonstration, which had been banned by city authorities, included British and Russian campaigners.

"There is no freedom for gays in Russia," British gay rights activist Peter Tatchell shouted as police bundled him away. "We call on President (Dmitry) Medvedev to meet with us."

Police pushed waiting reporters away as they arrested the gay and lesbian participants but there were no beatings.

Among those detained was Nikolai Alexeyev, a Russian gay rights leader. Alexeyev was walking with a person wearing women's clothes, whom he described as a friend. Police said they were arresting him for walking with a transvestite.

Moscow Mayor Yuri Luzhkov has taken a hard line against homosexual protesters, once describing a gay rights parade as "satanic".

Gay Parades are a Satanic Act

"Would destroy morals"

Moscow bans gay pride march on Eurovision day

Reuters news agency reports that the city of Moscow has banned a gay parade planned to coincide with its hosting of the Eurovision Song Contest next week, because it will "destroy morals" in the capital, a spokesman for the city's mayor said Thursday. Gay rights activists have staged small unsanctioned parades in Moscow without government approval over the past few years. But they have faced arrests and severe beatings by anti-gay and neo-fascist groups.

"Moscow has never had gay parades and it never will," said Mayor Yuri Luzhkov's spokesman, Sergei Tsoi. "Not only do they destroy morals within our society, but they consciously provoke disorder which threatens the lives of Muscovites and visitors."

Parade organizer and prominent gay rights activist Nikolai Alekseyev said on his website www.gayrussia.ru that the event would take place anyway.

"This is our right and it is guaranteed by the constitution. No official, including the Moscow mayor, has the right to violate it," Alekseyev said.

But Luzhkov's spokesman said any attempt to hold an unsanctioned gay parade would be "toughly stopped by law enforcement agencies in accordance with the law."

Luzhkov, who has been mayor of Moscow since 1992, once said gay parades were "a satanic act"
Russia did not decriminalize gay sex until 1993, two years after the Soviet Union's collapse, and intolerance is widespread.

Moscow has no gay-friendly district and the homosexual scene is still largely underground. Public displays of affection between same-sex couples are rare.

The gay parade, scheduled for May 16, was meant to coincide with Moscow's hosting of the Eurovision Song Contest. Activists had asked that competitors back homosexual rights on stage.

A Swiss-based Eurovision spokesman, currently in Moscow, declined to comment on the banning of the parade but said: "It's not a secret that we have a large gay audience and we respect everyone's backgrounds."

 

Gwen Stefani - What You Waiting For?

What are you waiting for?
Before your legs are paralyzed,
before you get pancreatic cancer,
before you waste away,
do it
now
.

LILY MORRIS: Why am I Always the Bridesmaid

".... never the blushing bride"

Susan Boyle - Singer - Britains Got Talent 2009

Unable to embed - please go to You Tube and make your day ....

News

Its official!

Hiv medication therapy should be started as early as possible - add this to the `Swiss standpoint' and what do we have? .......

A condomless strategy .......... hiv+'ers without fear

Gay Life, Gay Death in Iraq

Don't think you are safe .....

Kees

Professor Kees Brinkman is the man who finally got the chance to say it :

"Hiv medicatie can be used in a preventive way. If all Hiv+ people used medication then the rate of new infections would drop dramatically"

(and not a mention of a condom anywhere ....)

Schorer Monitor

Reactie van Poz & Proud op start Schorer Monitor 2009

Begin deze week is het jaarlijkse onderzoek van Schorer gestart naar de seksuele gezondheid van de Nederlandse homo: De Schorer Monitor. In de vragenlijst van de Monitor 2009 ontbreken opnieuw essentiële vragen die belangrijk zijn voor een goed inzicht in de seksuele gezondheid van homo’s met hiv. Ook heeft Schorer tot op heden geen concrete toezeggingen gedaan om zijn stigmatiserende communicatiestrategie aan te passen.

Schorer heeft in diverse gesprekken getoond open te staan voor kritiek en heeft ook toezeggingen gedaan om de Monitor in de komende jaren te verbeteren. Op belangrijke onderdelen heeft Schorer echter volgens Poz & Proud nog te weinig met deze kritiek gedaan. Poz & Proud mist vooral een helder signaal van Schorer dat de communicatie in de toekomst zorgvuldiger zal gaan verlopen. De uitkomsten van de Monitor dreigen hierdoor opnieuw door een onzorgvuldige communicatiestrategie een negatief beeld van homoseksualiteit in het algemeen en hiv in het bijzonder bij het algemene publiek op te roepen. Het instellen van een commissie op persoonlijke titel om de uitkomsten van het onderzoek te duiden is geen garantie voor een goede communicatiestrategie. Een onderzoek dat opnieuw op belangrijke punten de plank misslaat is geen goed onderzoek in de ogen van Poz & Proud en schaadt bovendien de belangen van hiv-positieve homo’s.

Poz & Proud ontraadt daarom aan het onderzoek deel te nemen.

i.e. DO NOT TAKE PART IN THE ON-LINE SCHORER MONITOR!!!!

The T-Mobile Dance

Wonderful!

Bio-hazard

The Bio-hazard symbol as used by Gay Poz Men is a self-designated symbol of discrimination. In much the same way that the Gay Liberation Front re-claimed the pink triangle in the 70's.

But the bio-hazard symbol is used in many different ways for many different reasons. On profiles, on T-shirts, on skin.

My ink is personal, and therefore I thought at the time that it was time to 'brand' myself with the bio-hazard (artistically of course) ....

What for?

A declaration for myself, a message to others, a warning, an invitation.

The Pope and Condoms

Nothing I could say could make the Pope more ridiculous than he's making himself.

Unfortunately he has more power than I do ....

Learning

I never realised that learning something new at my age would be so difficult. I used to be able (when I was young) to pick up new languages at the drop of a hat. It was common knowledge at university that if somebody dropped out of a play, opera, ballet I could be trusted to learn the part within a few hours and deliver a more than passable performance.

But learning to sing in Spanish is doing my head in ....

AMEN and out

Well, that was a disappointment to say the least, but not a surprise.

You can't compete with Rapido ....

You can't compete with a huge event which offers almost 3000 male bodies in various states of undress, with music so loud you can't hear yourself worry, with drugs so heavy that everyone else loves everyone else including their husbands, 

10 hours of mind numbing, 

worry alleviating, 

virus forgetting joy.

Concertgebouw

"Life is too short to waste it listening to Schubert".

Testing testing 123 ....

Sent from my iPhone

The Denver Principles Project

Way back in 1983 Hiv+ people in Denver got together and created a kind of Declaration of Independence for Hiv+'ers - The Denver Principles.

At that time all over the world Hiv+ people were getting their second wind and starting to challenge their medical and political status.

The Denver Principles Project is an attempt to blow life into that particular flame at a time in America where hope seems to be tempering the economic crisis in the shape of Barack Obama.

Here's the link to the original - 

http://www.napwa.org/denverprinciplesproject/denver-principles.shtml

- and because its (unfortunately) just as relevant today as 25 years ago here's the full version.

The Denver Principles Statement from the Advisory Committee of People with AIDS (1983) We condemn attempts to label us as 'victims,' a term which implies defeat, and we are only occasionally 'patients,' a term which implies passivity, helplessness, and dependence upon the care of others. We are 'People With AIDS.' RECOMMENDATIONS FOR HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONALS 1. Come out, especially to their patients who have AIDS. 2. Always clearly identify and discuss the theory they favor as to the cause of AIDS, since this bias affects the treatments and advice they give.  3. Get in touch with their feelings (e.g., fears, anxieties, hopes, etc.) About AIDS and not simply deal with AIDS intellectually.  4. Take a thorough personal inventory and identify and examine their own agendas around AIDS.  5. Treat people with AIDS as a whole people, and address psychological issues as well as biophysical ones.  6. Address the question of sexuality in people with AIDS specifically, sensitively and with information about gay male sexuality in general, and the sexuality of people with AIDS in particular. RECOMMENDATIONS FOR ALL PEOPLE  1. Support & Membership in our struggle against those who would fire us from our jobs, evict us from our homes, refuse to touch us or separate us from our loved ones, our community or our peers, since available evidence does not support the view that AIDS can be spread by casual, social contact.  2. Not scapegoat people with AIDS, blame us for the epidemic or generalize about our lifestyles. RECOMMENDATIONS FOR PEOPLE WITH AIDS  1. Form caucuses to choose their own representatives, to deal with the media, to choose their own agenda and to plan their own strategies.  2. Be involved at every level of decision-making and specifically serve on the board of directors of provider organizations.  3. Be included in all AIDS forums with equal credibility as other participants, to share their own experiences and knowledge.  4. Substitute low-risk sexual behaviors for those which could endanger themselves or their partners; we feel that people with AIDS have an ethical responsibility to inform their potential partners of their health status. RIGHTS OF PEOPLE WITH AIDS  1. To live as full and satisfying sexual and emotional lives as anyone else.  2. To receive quality medical treatment and quality social service provision without discrimination of any form, including sexual orientation, gender, diagnosis, economic status or race.  3. To obtain full explanations of all medical procedures and risks, to choose or refuse their treatment modalities, to refuse to participate in research without jeopardizing their treatment and to make informed decisions about their lives.  4. To ensure privacy and confidentiality of medical records, to receive human respect and the right to choose who their significant others are.  5. To die--and to LIVE--in dignity.

Ill

Here I am again with a seriously dreadful head cold. I hate it. its so debilitating without being so serious that I actually need tot take antibiotics.

Spending a week in the flat is not my idea of a fun time of course, and at times like these I thank god that I have no poor partner to inflict my frustration upon - or maybe that's what they're for?

So forgive me please if I'm not keeping up to speed with writing.