Monday, December 31, 2007
Choices and Consequences
There are no solutions to life's problems, only choices we make and the consequences that arise from those choices.
The Old Year passes and whether we like it or not we reminisce. Goals acheived? Acheivements compounded?
I really and truly deeply despise New Years Eve .... the fake sentiment, the drunks, the parties, the fireworks, the promise to keep in touch with people you won't see again until next year same time same place same party.
So .... where will I be tonight?
Yes .... at a New Year's Party having a wonderful time ....
and a Happy New Year from Chinatown, Amsterdam to all of You too!
.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Carpenters - It's Christmas Time/Sleep Well, Little Children
.... open this present just before midnight tonight, with someone you love in your arms, or in your heart ....
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
Laugh and your libido laughs with you!
Its official!
High Testosterone levels are directly linked to how funny you are.
So, as Gay men are traditionally accused (or proven) to have naturally high testosterone levels (or if you are Poz, artificially enhanced) then it just goes to show that Gay men (and Gay Poz men in particular) are not only better looking than their/our heterosexual counterparts but are also more fun at a party!
I'm not saying anything we didn't know before of course, but its nice to know that the medical world is sometimes on our side ....
.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
TIME Person of the Year 2007
How? How is it possible that one of the leading global magazines thinks its okay to elect this man, Person of the Year?
Yes, in lots of ways he is person of the year, but not for his humanity, goodness, struggle for civil liberty or any other human trait that one could wish for in a leader.
This is the man who allowed the Mayor of Moscow to call Gay people Satanic, who swore that Gay people would never have the same rights as 'normal' people. That single sex marriages were a 'moral poison' in our schools.
Who encourages Orthodox Christian Youth Groups to patrol Moscow parks looking for 'criminal activity'.
Who demanded that public artistic representations of Gay people were banned.
But lets be honest .... is he really doing anything radically different to that which many american states are doing at the moment. Opposing same-sex marriage, queer-bashing as a national sport once more, creationism, god in the classroom, maybe people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
.... and just maybe monkey see monkey do ....
.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Aries - A December Story
A call to pursue your real true actual goal (the one you'd regret not pursuing, if you never even tried), rather than playing along with whatever cards got inadvertently dealt to you.
Pluto now sits at a very crucial location in your solar chart, Aries. It's the point known in a natal chart as the Midheaven, or the region in the sky that the Sun occupies at high noon. This zone represents all that we achieve, through sustained effort and long-term strategy, out there on the world stage (principally, for example, our professional accomplishments and/or community reputation).
With Pluto lodging himself there for the time being, and with his many-years' transit of your solar 10th just beginning in a few weeks, you are entering a profound period of transformation in what you are to become publicly known for.
In other words, you're entering the phase of 'shit or get off the pot', when it comes to your career and the many fanciful dreams you might attach to it. And in order to get from where you are to where you want to be, whether it requires only a couple small steps or necessitates a total about-face, you'll have to start by literally murdering any of the internal voices that might tell you why it's simply impossible.
You Aries folks are the fearless pioneers of the zodiac, bursting at the seams with courage and strength… so I'm totally unwilling to accept that you couldn't secure that golden flag, if you put your whole self behind its acquisition.
Jupiter's also moving into your 10th, providing that much more emphasis to any actions you might take toward satisfying your ambitions. His presence virtually insists that you do more in '08 than you did in '07 (or any other recent year), at least in regards to causing a big splash professionally and/or among those whose opinions matter to you.
This is your year to ascend to a new level of greatness.
But that means not being afraid to sacrifice the small victories for the one friggin' big one you covet more than anything else.
With everything you've got, go for it… and accept nothing less than a grand attempt from yourself. No matter the outcome, should you invest every last ounce of pluck and pushiness you possess into this one arena of life, I'm confident it will change your life forever.
The Nightmare Before Christmas - Town Meeting Song
Well .... I may as well give them what they want .... and the best I must confess I have saved for the last for the ruler of this Christmas Land, is a fearsome king with a deep mighty voice (least that's what I've come to understand) ..... and I've also heard it told he is something to behold like a lobster huge and red, when he sets out his sleigh with his reindeer on, carting bulging sacks with his big great arms (that is so I've heard it said) .... and on a dark cold night on a full moon light he flies into a fog like a vulture in the sky ........ and they call him Sandy Claws ........
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Cranford - The Last Episode where all ends well, or at least so as it should.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Aries - A December Story
Chapter Two
In which, if you actually do what you really want to do, nobody can dare to claim they missed your point or were unclear where you stand. And that's precisely why this week is hardly an occasion for subtlety.
With the holiday spirit nipping at your nose, a rapidly approaching new year to anticipate, and a mounting lack of patience for having to make ethical or philosophical compromises, just to keep other people snug in their complacency… the climate is ripe for you to mount a 'Fuck Discretion!' campaign.
How will anybody suffer from your pre-new-year's resolution to quit doing crap you hate, as a token of commitment to your own well-being?
This is your life we're talking about here… and I'd hate to see you suck in your disruptive creative antagonisms, just to secure that ten-cent-an-hour raise at the paper clip factory, especially when there are Everests to climb and Amazons to ford, gods to bow down before and values to cherish at all costs.
Stir that shit, homey.
Tell 'em where they can stick the logo-encrusted coffee mugs the company has chosen to distribute this week in lieu of a bonus check. Then, throw the mug out the window.
Growl if you've got to.
Bark at the moon, even.
And please, oh please, don't fear the repercussions.
For every punitive restriction they try to place on you, there's another rule you've just been invited to break. As long as you've spent adequate advance effort in articulating to yourself what your rules for a meaningful and successful life are to be, you should feel profoundly free to follow 'em—at the expense of other, more limiting or altogether ill-fitting prohibitions imposed by folks who hardly have your best interests in mind anyhow.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Let's Misbehave
You could have a great career,
And you should;
Yes you should.
Only one thing stops you dear:
You're too good;
Way too good!
If you want a future, darlin',
Why don't you get a past?
'Cause that fateful moment's comin' at last...
They say that bears have love affairs
And even camels
We're men and mammals--let's misbehave!!!
Cole Porter by Elvis Costello
Leather Flag
Somehow this disappeared from the blog - resurrected - Mike and Dean helping to raise the Leather Flag and the temperature on the Castro - dear god i miss them and San Francisco ....
25+ (+)
Finally finished reading 25+.
If anyone thought beforehand that this was going to be a coffee table book they must now be seriously dismayed at the amount of reading material stuffed into this epistle.
Conclusions?
There are a lot of gay poz men who know damn well what they want and need but aren't getting it for one reason or another.
Hiv and Aids is slipping out of the grasp of several institutions who need it to stay alive.
All is fair in love and war when it comes to manipulating facts and figures in order to support your own story (and keep your grants coming in).
Some directors really do have an enormously high opinion of themselves.
A lot of people in the care sector really do care.
A lot of doctors and specialists etc are convinced that the input of gay poz men absolutely necessary is in order to move forward in any direction whatsoever.
The institutions that were/are existing for gay men in the Netherlands have declared hiv a 'non-event' in the Netherlands, and have somehow managed to justify spending all their government money on projects that have nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with the Netherlands.
My greatest conclusion from taking all of this in is that 'we', gay poz men, need a
Gay Men's Health Centre.
Privately funded, or at least to the point where it is not susceptible to political fun and games.
Open only to Gay Poz Men, run by Gay Men (so possible Poz).
SOA tests, hiv tests, Hep A,B, HPV vaccinations. Anal Cancer tests.
Gay Male General Practitioners.
Gay Male psycho-social help. Individual and group therapies.
Alternative therapies, treatments etc.
Information gathering over Gay (Poz) Men available to institutions such as the GGD onder strict controls.
Active discouragement of Gay Men taking part in (for example) Schorer Monitor, GGD Monitor etc.
Ayone want to help me give it a try?
Gay Poz Men for Gay Poz Men - only we know how it should be
.
Friday, December 7, 2007
MemoryLand
There's a world of difference between 'perceived memory' and 'actual memory'.
Two worlds in fact.
It begins, as does all science and religion, with doubt.
I held many of my memories to be basically 'true'. Of course I was perfectly prepared to believe that on a particular day the sun didn't shine as brightly as I remembered, that my little sailor suit was red instead of blue, and that I probably didn't fly to NeverLand, but basically all the rest would be truthfully stored in my brain.
And then I discovered the 'truth'.
I wasn't remembering things in the same way as my Mother or Brother. Not tiny little variances but huge chunks of radical differences.
So I started to gather 'facts', believing that I could find out that way who was 'right'. I couldn't have been less wrong.
Truth, as memory, actual or perceived is so subjective that it renders itself useless in retrospect. All memories are coloured, mostly by emotions, to suit ourselves.
We are storymakers and in our world of memories we need to make the stories work.
In MemoryLand the bad guys must always stay bad, the good guys must always sit on their white chargers, and there is a moral to every story.
Grey zones are the scary places in MemoryLand. Gray zones are sticky areas of doubt and possibilities for alternative answers.
We can never be truly happy without a 'Happy Ending', or at least a story that has a beginning, middle and end.
The fundamental problem arises at preciesely the point where we decide to accept all of this as 'fact', 'truth', 'memory'.
The passage of rite to adulthood is one that forces us to accept that we cannot trust all adults to speak the truth.
Then, as young adults we are forced to accept that we cannot trust ourselves (our brains) to speak the truth.
A double sword.
Trusting memories as truth is impossible. Trusting emotions as relevant and/or proportionate is just as impossible, and dangerous too. Our whole emotional vocabulary is built during the first 4 years of our lives, but we know that our memories from that time are not necessarily 'true'. The implication is of course that our whole adult emotional vocabulary is based upon these early 'lies'.
Emotions are notorious deceivers. One day you wake up and there is no coffee and you feel like there is an international plot to destroy the world, the next day there is no coffee so you go to the store to buy some more.
The facts aren't changed, the only variable is your emotions, subjective emotions at that. Emotions are dependant on what? A thousand little things.
Memory? Truth? Emotion?
Just like men, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Yo ....
Yes, dear children, its the 5th of December and its almost time to leave the innocent vulgarities of Sinterklaas behind us in order to concentrate on the great journey towards Christmas. A journey fraught with peril. On a road paved with fear and insecurity. Yes, dear children, no-one is safe until the fat man bellows Yo-Ho-Ho ....
.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Aries - a December Story
Chapter One
And try as you might to mentally distinguish between your 'personal' life and that which you do for career and/or monetary purposes, neither your body nor your soul can perpetuate such false distinctions. That's why if your professional situation or role in the community stifles your spirit, or is otherwise akin to embodying a zombie-tastic 'living dead' sort of half-personhood… fuck, Aries, you've got to find a way out of that horror film, whether through demanding massive script changes or by walking off the set altogether.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Hitting the bottom stair
Like most people I just want to know that my life has/had a purpose. That there is/was a reason for it all.
Waking up each morning to a brand new day was a reason to live. My life had purpose. I was there for Herman.
No matter the shame of not having a job, of being an unwanted guest in his ex's house. No matter the need to wait until his ex had left for school before I came down to see Herman and have breakfast with him. No matter the smiling face that I had to arrange on my face before I hit the bottom stair, the fear of being screamed at if my smile wasn't real enough, if my tread wasn't light enough, if I didn't make him laugh, brighten his day.
It was no matter because that was my life, that was my reason for being.
To make him forget the daily rapes by his ex, to weaken the attacks made by his father, to listen to his raging against his mother and try and comfort him. To act like nothing was wrong but to know that everything was wrong, to be the fault of everything and the cause of all pain.
But it made me real. Without it I was nothing. Without the pain and the screaming and the beatings and the hate I had lost everything that was mine to lose. I had ceased to exist.
Maybe that was what they wanted? Herman, the ex, the mother, the father, was I the scapegoat for them all? If I had not been there would they have destroyed each other? but they did destroy each other, would they have done it sooner, would they have destroyed each other sooner and left me whole?
And would I now know who I am?
.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Cranford
"Nay sisters.
My Father was a man.
I think therefore I may understand the sex."
Love took up the glass of Time, and turn’d it in his glowing hands;
Every moment, lightly shaken, ran itself in golden sands.
Love took up the harp of Life, and smote on all the chords with might;
Smote the chord of Self, that, trembling, pass’d in music out of sight.
25+
Stop Aids Now 2
Just to clear things up for those of you who thought i was being too cryptic .....
What are they going to put on the posters next year?
Hiv-infected baby seals being clubbed to death in antarctica?
.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
now THAT'S what I call a fundraiser
World of Chocolate is the AIDS Foundation of Chicago’s (AFC) annual holiday fundraising event held in commemoration of World AIDS Day.
At this festive event, guests will sample scrumptious chocolate creations from many of Chicagoland’s finest restaurants, caterers and chocolatiers.The vendors creating the delicacies will compete for top honors in several categories as judged by local celebrities. Other components of the evening include entertainment, a raffle, and shopping at the Holiday Bazaar which features fine gifts and ornaments donated by local merchants.
DATE & TIME: Thursday, November 29, 2007
5:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.
LOCATION: Hilton Chicago, 720 South Michigan Avenue
.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Don't Cry For Me Aberystwyth
Aberystwyth at Christmas. The smell of pine drifts along the Prom mingling with the reek of bladderwrack, toffee apple, vanilla and wet donkey fur .... in a filthy alley in Chinatown a man in a red-and-white coat with a long white beard lies dead in a pool of his own gore. The cruel melancholy of his death is heightened by an extra finesse: his manhood has been hacked off and placed in his mouth.
Malcolm Pryce
.
Doctor's appointment
Monday, November 26, 2007
De Hiv Vereniging Nederland et al
'So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.'
Revelation 3:16 (King James Bible)
According to the Arbiter of Taste (GJ), its fashionable to be biblical ....
p.s. I don't spue - i swallow
.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Cranford
Celsentri - Maraviroc
Pfizer's new treatment Celsentri (maraviroc) blocks HIV's entry to immune system cells - the first new oral class of HIV/Aids treatment in more than a decade.
Although it is not a cure, it can help patients who have not responded to other available HIV drugs. A cocktail of three drugs collectively called HAART (highly active anti-retroviral therapy) has dramatically improved the life expectancy of patients with HIV, but resistance to these drugs is a problem.
Maraviroc was approved in the US in August, where it is marketed under the name of Selzentry.
It is taken in combination with other anti-retroviral drugs, but works in an entirely new way.
It blocks a microscopic doorway - the CCR5 receptor - which HIV uses to enter and infect human cells called CD4-T-cells.
All other currently available oral HIV medicines work on the HIV virus once it has entered the immune cells.
Trials show that in suitable patients - those infected with only CCR5-tropic HIV-1 - it can help reduce the levels of virus circulating in the blood stream and increase the numbers of immune CD4 cells.
Between 50 and 78% of people with HIV have this strain.
.
Friday, November 23, 2007
of the Why and Wherefore
I began the search for the truth about my Father out of curiosity. But also a feeling of urgency, an idea that I ought to know before it was too late what he was like, who he was, what he did and why.
Looking back I suppose I knew all the time some of the answers to some of these question, but was afraid to fill in the blanks myself.
You see, guilt was Father’s weapon, and silence was his means of achieving that.
My Father died 12 years ago, suddenly, dramatically, shrouded in silence and secrecy. Mother told me for years that she didn’t really know what he’d died of. Lately she has admitted to me that there was a death certificate and that it was something like a stroke. He’d collapsed outside a store in the time between Christmas and New Year. Typical detail: he was buying eau de toilette for my Mother’s birthday, and of course he had waited until the sales were on.
A few years ago my Mother and I were talking about him and I mentioned to her that I grew up with the idea that we were poor, that both of them had to work all the time to just get by. My Mother was amazed at this. “We weren’t poor! Your Father was just stingy!” Later she added the nuance that he was not only stingy but was also capable of spending huge amounts of money on “rubbish”.
My brother and I have also spent the last few years growing closer. Hearing him talk about our family life sounds like he lived in another dimension. His interpretation, his experiences have almost nothing to do with mine.
His greatest revelation to me was during the last time I saw him when he suddenly proclaimed that he “hated Father”. I’d never heard him so emotional before; it was so obviously real and meant that it shocked me. We are talking about 12 years on here. 12 years to soften the emotion, 12 years to weaken the impact, and still it came out as raw emotion.
It became an obsession. My family, who were they? My parents, my grand parents, my great grand parents. However, each fact that I discovered opened yet another can of worms. My Mother gave me photos of her grand parents, but couldn’t tell me what their names were! I mean she doesn’t know what her Grandmother’s name was! Bizarre. Added to that, there is almost no evidence that my Grandfather even had a family.
I think I was hoping for a key to my life. But these people, my family didn’t even have a key to their own lives. How could my Mother have lived with a man for all those years and not known what he did in the evenings, St John Ambulance Brigade, Telephone Line for Families of Cancer Patients etc, she knew none of this. How much did both of them not know? How much did both of them not want to know?
We lived as a very nuclear family. Aunts and Uncles were tolerated, and later on, not. By the time I left for university there were almost no members of the extended family left. My Mother was an only child, her Mother’s family was large, and my Father’s family was large. So why did two of his brothers wait until his funeral to show up? Two men on our side of the church who I had never seen before. Two men who my Mother vaguely remembered but couldn’t quite place.
I’ve realised now that the reason I know so little about my family is not through lack of interest on my part.
My knowledge of our family is and was as restrictive as the world that my parents created for themselves. Small and controllable.
My Father’s insecurity translated as silent aggression.
My Mother’s 'by default' support of the status quo.
All this is conjecture of course. I have no way of knowing what they thought and think. Of the why and wherefore.
I think its time to bury the unknown and deal with my life as it is. I can’t and won’t carry the burden of their lives with me. Leave the secrets in the dusty trunk in the attic.
.
Monday, November 19, 2007
In The Night Garden
upsy daisy,
iggle piggle,
tombliboos,
makka pakka,
titifers,
haa hoos,
witingers,
pontipines,
ninky nonk,
pinky ponk, et al ....
The BBC .... from the people that brought you the TeliTubbies .... another consciousness altering piece of media excellence ....
A disturbed mind is a joy forever ....
Tip: don't watch this - its just as addictive as watching Tinky Winky exploring his/her sexuality using the tried and tested handbag long term lease system ....
.
The Tower
My alter ego is the Survivor, whose power for revolution lies in my epiphany for change, brought on with the aid of a serious reality check.
Today I have reached a turning point.
It may be all over but the crying -- but I have the strength to move on and create a better situation for myself. You may say that I never saw it coming or learned the hard way, but with profound change comes new opportunity.
One door closes -- another opens.
So tear down the wall, and rebuild anew.
.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Travis - My Eyes
my weakness for lads from north of the border ....
welcome, welcome,
shame about the weather
welcome, welcome,
you're welcome
its a sin, its a sin,
we're birds of a feather ...
Friday, November 16, 2007
U.S. To HIV+: Stay Out
.
The government has proposed new rules which will make it even harder for HIV+ persons to enter the country, according to Gay Men's Health Crisis and Immigration Equality.
On World AIDS Day last year, President Bush announced his intention to create a streamlined process for foreign travelers with HIV to enter the United States more easily.
Currently the United States is one of only 13 countries in the world, including Iraq, Saudi Arabia, and Sudan, which ban travel for individuals who are HIV-positive.
Now, almost a year later, DHS has proposed "streamlined" regulations which would make it even harder to get a short-term waiver, Immigration Equality and the Gay Men's Health Crisis say in a joint statement.
"Unfortunately, despite using the terms 'streamlined' and 'categorical,' in reality these regulations are neither," said Victoria Neilson, Legal Director of Immigration Equality.
Under the new rules, a visitor would need to travel with all the medication he would need during his stay in the U.S., prove that he has medical insurance that is accepted in the U.S. and would cover any medical contingency, and prove that he won't engage in behavior that might put the American public at risk. The maximum term of the waiver would be 30 days.
"More than two decades into this epidemic, the United States continues to stigmatize people with HIV and treat this illness unlike any other virus," said Neilson.
You have to prove you won't engage in risky behavior? Why don't they just ask you to prove you won't get hit by a car? How do you prove you won't do something in the future? And even if you GET a waiver, you can only stay 30 days?
Just outrageous.
Divine
Divine in the showroom of a wholesale door manufacturer.
Gone but not forgotten, at least not by me.
I have the dubious honour of having hung next to Divine in a gallery once (photos darling).
"I'm so beautiful,
You gotta believe that I am beautiful.
I'm so beautiful,
can't you see?
Look at me!"
Cash Crash
Panicking about money (or to be more accurate the lack of it) is something I am very good at.
Many of you know the problems I've had, have, in this area the last few years. To be honest, it seems to be a recurring theme in my life ever since I left my ex. Maybe he threw one final curse at me as I walked out the door.
I wouldn't put it past him, but then again I'd hate to see myself in such a typical soap opera scenario.
But no.
While the relationship lasted, probably before, he was in financial problems. I was just a way of solving them for him. That's why he was so pissed off when I left.
Oh yes,
and the other thing;
quote,
"but now i'll have to use a condom!" ....
.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Schorer / NOVA Part 2
Sorry .... in my anger i couldn't quite think of the word to describe the Schorer stichting et al.
now i'm slightly calmer i've got the word that sums them all up perfectly;
Incompetent
.
David Bowie - Loving the alien
Prayers,
they hide the saddest view
Believing the strangest things
Loving the alien
and your prayers
will break the sky in two
Believing the strangest things
Loving the alien ....
David Bowie
Schorer / NOVA
As expected ....
A completely useless Schorer Monitor, ask anyone with hiv if they could fill the questionnaire in properly and you'll know why.
And of course leaving the whole of the community once again wide open to attack by the Media/Press.
e.g
65% of hiv infected gay men have unsafe sex.
Nowhere in the questionnaire was it possible to say 'yes i have so-called unsafe sex but only with other hiv infected gay men.'
76% of hiv infected gay men do not tell their sex partners that they are hiv positive.
Nowhere in the questionnaire was it possible to say, 'i don't tell my partners i am hiv positive because i already know, because i only have sex with gay men who are hiv positive, and by the way does it make any difference if i tell someone i am hiv positive or not? shouldn't they also be responsible for their own safety and have safer sex regardless of what i say or do not say?'
Useless.
The whole of the Schorer, the Hiv Vereniging and SOA/Aids Fonds should be thrown on the bonfire and something worthwhile built from the ashes.
You want to know about hiv en gay men?
Ask a gay man with hiv.
Its that simple.
.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
.... and why lesbians should never be given true power ....
Dan Savage reports that Seattle's Lifelong AIDS Alliance has canned Glamazonia, the long-time hostess of its popular Gay Bingo fundraiser, because (get this) of a new sexual harassment policy that does not allow the use of naughty language during its events. Specifically proscribed are the words "fuck" and "cunt".
Drag queens.
No trash talk.
The mind reels.
Glamazonia, aka Thom Hubert, says, "There was language [in the policy] how 'the performer/mc will prepare material avoiding sexually suggestive material… will use appropriate language and avoid vulgar language.' As a drag queen, if I stuck to this stuff by the letter, why, I’d have to wear a black robe and stand behind a podium and just read the numbers out. The contract said, ‘the host will not act in a flirtatious manner, will not wear reveailing clothing, will not make sexual gestures or comments.’
How could any drag queen appear or perform under these guidelines?"
None that I've ever seen could.
Don't Feed, KILL!
New York City Councilman Simcha Felder, (D-Brooklyn) proposed a new ordinance today which would outlaw feeding pigeons, punishable by fines up to $1000. Felder was on the evening news tonight to say, "Hey, if you like pigeons so much, bring them into your home and feed them there. And let them crap all over your house instead of the city."
A single pigeon produces 25 pounds of droppings a year. As people with HIV are particularly imperiled by pigeon-borne illnesses, there have been some real showdowns with pigeon feeders in places like San Francisco.
My opinion, from the JMG archives:
Pigeons, dey's just feathered rats
Dey's make more noise than fucking cats
Me and neighbors, in cahoots
Stomp them with our steely boots
Make dey's little heads go splats
Related: KillThePigeons.com.
Sometimes just reading Joe.My.God almost restores my faith in americans.
Sometimes.
Almost.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
The Holiday Season
Father
25+
Honestly and truthfully .... i've finally seen the first proofs of the 25+ book and i am astonished.
Even if you just buy this book to look suitably politically correct as it lies on your coffe table i don't care (it looks fucking gorgeous)
Even if you don't actually read it (which you really, really should because its bloody good)
Even if you keep it in a brown paper envelope tucked under your mattress (which you really shouldn't)
Get out there and buy it!
Publishing date 1 December 2007
25+
25 jaar hiv en aids in de Nederlandse homoscene
Fucking beautiful.
.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water ....
a dear friend gave me this old but functional computer
online again at last ....
what a relief ....
.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Fantastic Voyage
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
Crash and dive
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
We All Wear A Green Carnation
Blasé boys are we.
Exquisitely free
From the dreary and quite absurd
Modern views of the common herd
We like carefree bows, chandeliers, and stoles
We're most spirited,
Carefully filleted,
Souls ....
Pretty boys,
Witty boys
Too, too,
Too lazy to fight stagnation
Haughty boys,
Naughty boys,
All we do is to pursue sensation ....
Women say we’re too
Bored to bill and coo
We smile wearily
Its so drearily true
Faded boys
Jaded boys
Come what may
Art is our inspiration
And as we are the reason for the 90’s being gay
We all wear a green carnation ….
.
For sale: one Belgium (used)
The ad - thought to be the first attempt to sell Belgium via eBay - was posted by one disgruntled Belgian in protest at his country's political crisis. This reached its 100-day landmark on Tuesday, with no end in sight to the squabbling between Flemish and Walloon politicians.
'I wanted to attract attention,' said Gerrit Six, the teacher and former journalist who posted the ad.
'You almost have to throw a rock through a window to get attention for Belgium.'
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Making Money
Making Money
By Terry Pratchett
The Ankh-Morpork Post Office is running like . . . well, not at all like a government office.
The mail is delivered promptly; meetings start and end on time; five out of six letters relegated to the Blind Letter Office ultimately wend their way to the correct addresses. Postmaster General Moist von Lipwig, former arch-swindler and confidence man, has exceeded all expectations—including his own.
So it's somewhat disconcerting when Lord Vetinari summons Moist to the palace and asks, "Tell me, Mr. Lipwig, would you like to make some real money?"
Vetinari isn't talking about wages, of course. He's referring, rather, to the Royal Mint of Ankh-Morpork, a venerable institution that has run for centuries on the hereditary employment of the Men of the Sheds and their loyal outworkers, who do make money in their spare time. Unfortunately, it costs more than a penny to make a penny, so the whole process seems somewhat counterintuitive.
Next door, at the Royal Bank, the Glooper, an "analogy machine," has scientifically established that one never has quite as much money at the end of the week as one thinks one should, and the bank's chairman, one elderly Topsy (née Turvy) Lavish, keeps two loaded crossbows at her desk.
Oh, and the chief clerk is probably a vampire.
But before Moist has time to fully consider Vetinari's question, fate answers it for him. Now he's not only making money, but enemies too; he's got to spring a prisoner from jail, break into his own bank vault, stop the new manager from licking his face, and, above all, find out where all the gold has gone—otherwise, his life in banking, while very exciting, is going to be really, really short. . . .
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Monday, September 17, 2007
Larry Craig toilet 'tourist site'
"People are taking pictures," Karen Evans, an information officer at Minneapolis-St Paul international airport, told Associated Press.
Mr Craig, a Republican from Idaho, pleaded guilty in August to disorderly conduct over the toilet incident.
He now says the plea was a mistake and is trying to have it withdrawn.
Depending on the outcome of the case, Mr Craig may reverse his earlier decision to resign by the end of September.
Mr Craig was arrested on 11 June by an undercover airport police officer.
Now it seems that tourists passing through the airport cannot resist the temptation to have a look at the scene.
"We had to just stop and check out the bathroom," said Sally Westby of Minneapolis, on her way to Guatemala with her husband Jon.
"In fact, it's Jon's second time - he was here last week already."
Royal Zino, who works at the shoeshine shop next to the public lavatory, said "it's been crazy".
"People have been going inside, taking pictures of the stall, taking pictures outside the bathroom door."
The politician, who has a record of hostility to gay rights and is a married father-of-three, insists he is not homosexual.
He says police misconstrued his actions at the airport.
The Divine Comedy: I've Been To A Marvellous Party
We talked about growing old gracefully
and Elsie who's 74
said
A) Its a question of being sincere
and
B) If you're supple you've nothing to fear
then she swung upside down from the chandelier
I couldn't have liked it more!
Seems to becoming my motto in life .... if last night is anything to go by .... although I've never said I was averse to chandelier swinging if the moment called for it ....
The bigger they are ....
Microsoft loses anti-trust appeal
Microsoft's market dominance alarms regulators.
The court upheld the ruling that Microsoft had abused its dominant market position.
A probe concluded in 2004 that Microsoft was guilty of freezing out rivals in server software and products such as media players.
It was ordered to change its business and fined 497m euros.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
Operation
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Friday, September 7, 2007
Michael Tolliver Lives
"In my best moments I'm filled with a curious peace, an almost passable impersonation of how it used to be. Then my T cells drop suddenly or I sprout a virulent rash on my back or shit my best corduroys while waiting in line at the DMV, and I'm once again reminded how fucking tenuous it all is. My life, whatever its duration, is still a lurching, lopsided contraption held together by chewing gum and baling wire.
And here's the kicker: the longer you survive the virus, the closer you get to dying the regular way.
My current recipe for continued existence, a fine tuned mélange of Viramune and Combavir, now competes for shelf space in my cabinet with Lipitor, Wellbutrin, and Glucosamine Chondroitin, remedies commonly associated with age and decrepitude. (Well maybe not Wellbutrin, since even the young get depressed, but that was no big deal in my own youth.)
There are plenty of ironies in this, lessons to be learned about fate and the fickleness of death and getting on with life while the getting is good, but you won't read them here.
I've had enough lessons from this disease."
Depression - WHO report
And those with depression plus a chronic illness, such as diabetes, fare particularly badly, the study of more than 245,000 people suggests.
Better treatment for depression would improve people's overall health, the researchers concluded in the Lancet.
After taking into account factors such as poverty and other health conditions, the researchers found that depression had the largest effect on worsening health.
And people with depression who also had one or more chronic diseases had the worst health scores of all the diseases looked at or combinations of diseases.
Dr Somnath Chatterji said: "The co-morbid state of depression incrementally worsens health compared with depression alone, with any of the chronic diseases alone, and with any combination of chronic diseases without depression.
Marcus Roberts, head of policy at mental health charity Mind, said the impact of depression could be devastating on relationships, finances and physical health.
"The treatment of depression must be given equal footing to the treatment of other conditions.
"While treatments for most physical health problems are readily accessible, mental health treatments such as talking therapies are limited, with some patients waiting months or even years for their first appointment with a therapist."
He added that mental health was often overlooked in those with chronic health problems, as doctors focused on the physical symptoms.
Isentress / Raltegravir
New HIV Drug Merits Quick Approval
The Associated Press
(Washington) An experimental HIV drug from Merck & Co. Inc. should be quickly approved for use by patients running out of treatment options, federal advisers recommended Wednesday.
The panel of outside experts agreed unanimously that available data support accelerated approval of Isentress, also known as raltegravir, by the Food and Drug Administration.
If approved, Isentress would be the first in a new class of anti-retroviral drugs called integrase inhibitors.
The Merck drug targets integrase, one of three enzymes used by the virus to replicate and infect cells. The FDA previously has approved drugs that target the two other enzymes, protease and reverse transcriptase.
Isentress is meant to be used as part of a "cocktail" of drugs to fight HIV in patients who have developed a resistance to older medications.
Last month, the FDA approved another novel HIV drug, Pfizer Inc.'s Selzentry. That drug is the first that works by blocking a crucial doorway, called the CCR5 receptor, that HIV often uses to enter white blood cells.
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