The Untouchables

Its not something any of us like talking about, especially the english, but intimacy is an important part of our lives.

Or the lack of it.

I do feel untouchable a lot of the time. This is very difficult for me as I am by nature a very tactile person. I like to keep physical contact with loved ones around me.

Something about touching other people calms and reassures me, and I hope them. Its my way of saying non-verbally that they are a part of my life.

Real intimacy, down dirty intimacy, full insertion intimacy is something I miss very much. Sex was always my way of being close to other men when there was no emotional bond. Having sex with them meant I could feel their skin, smell them, taste them.

Since my sex life has become so dramatically reduced, I can't help but feel a sort of deadening happening in my body. I'm not used to people touching me unawares. My body goes into shock almost if someone tries to get too close, especially 'down there'.

Alcohol and drugs helped to loosen my inhibitions, but since I have to be careful about that now I'm afraid the sex has gone completely out the window.

So I bought a Teddy bear for the first time in my life, and I sleep with him, and that's okay as long as I don't feel the need to fuck him.

a vision of hell without fear

Now what I'm about to say may never reach the general media,

Religions and Dogmas all over the world will try to silence this news,

Institutions that exist solely to feed off Aids subsidy will try to bury this,

.... so listen very carefully for I will say this only once .....

"HIV-positive patients with an undetectable viral load infrequently change their anti-HIV treatment because of side-effects nowadays, according to the results of a British study published in the May 31^st edition of AIDS."

source: aidsmap 

With the latest wave of hiv designer drugs showing their true worth in delivering effective results with almost zero intolerance in terms of side effects, and a new compound found that could lead to another new design of drugs, then the long term goal of truly 'liveable' medication could become reality.

No longer the 'poison' that we all view our medication as. No longer the idea that the pills can only stop the virus by damaging our bodies. No longer having to live damaged lives.

But ....

Not everyone is going to want the world to hear this.

Hiv infection without death, without pain? without even discomfort? 

How will the Church cope with a potential sinner without the promise of hell?

How will a Government cope with gay sex without consequences?

How will all those Institutions survive that only survive because of subsidy, if there is nothing for them to do?

 

.... and who will pay for it all ? .......