New Campagne
Cheap and Nasty
.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
now THAT'S what I call a fundraiser
.
World of Chocolate is the AIDS Foundation of Chicago’s (AFC) annual holiday fundraising event held in commemoration of World AIDS Day.
At this festive event, guests will sample scrumptious chocolate creations from many of Chicagoland’s finest restaurants, caterers and chocolatiers.The vendors creating the delicacies will compete for top honors in several categories as judged by local celebrities. Other components of the evening include entertainment, a raffle, and shopping at the Holiday Bazaar which features fine gifts and ornaments donated by local merchants.
DATE & TIME: Thursday, November 29, 2007
5:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.
LOCATION: Hilton Chicago, 720 South Michigan Avenue
.
World of Chocolate is the AIDS Foundation of Chicago’s (AFC) annual holiday fundraising event held in commemoration of World AIDS Day.
At this festive event, guests will sample scrumptious chocolate creations from many of Chicagoland’s finest restaurants, caterers and chocolatiers.The vendors creating the delicacies will compete for top honors in several categories as judged by local celebrities. Other components of the evening include entertainment, a raffle, and shopping at the Holiday Bazaar which features fine gifts and ornaments donated by local merchants.
DATE & TIME: Thursday, November 29, 2007
5:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.
LOCATION: Hilton Chicago, 720 South Michigan Avenue
.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Don't Cry For Me Aberystwyth
.
Aberystwyth at Christmas. The smell of pine drifts along the Prom mingling with the reek of bladderwrack, toffee apple, vanilla and wet donkey fur .... in a filthy alley in Chinatown a man in a red-and-white coat with a long white beard lies dead in a pool of his own gore. The cruel melancholy of his death is heightened by an extra finesse: his manhood has been hacked off and placed in his mouth.
Aberystwyth at Christmas. The smell of pine drifts along the Prom mingling with the reek of bladderwrack, toffee apple, vanilla and wet donkey fur .... in a filthy alley in Chinatown a man in a red-and-white coat with a long white beard lies dead in a pool of his own gore. The cruel melancholy of his death is heightened by an extra finesse: his manhood has been hacked off and placed in his mouth.
Aberystwyth at Christmas.
Compliments of the Season.
Malcolm Pryce
.
Malcolm Pryce
.
Doctor's appointment
.
Doctor :
When was the last time you saw your anus?
Me :
No idea.
Doctor :
Then our next project will be 'learning to fall in love with your anus'
(Never, ever fancy your Doctor ....)
.
Doctor :
When was the last time you saw your anus?
Me :
No idea.
Doctor :
Then our next project will be 'learning to fall in love with your anus'
(Never, ever fancy your Doctor ....)
.
Monday, November 26, 2007
De Hiv Vereniging Nederland et al
.
'So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.'
Revelation 3:16 (King James Bible)
'So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.'
Revelation 3:16 (King James Bible)
According to the Arbiter of Taste (GJ), its fashionable to be biblical ....
.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Cranford
.
"Oh dear. A man in house is so messy".
"That would suit Miss Sophie Hutton beautifully.
She has the youthfulness to carry it off,
and a waist like a wand!"
.
"Oh dear. A man in house is so messy".
"That would suit Miss Sophie Hutton beautifully.
She has the youthfulness to carry it off,
and a waist like a wand!"
.
Celsentri - Maraviroc
.
Pfizer's new treatment Celsentri (maraviroc) blocks HIV's entry to immune system cells - the first new oral class of HIV/Aids treatment in more than a decade.
Although it is not a cure, it can help patients who have not responded to other available HIV drugs. A cocktail of three drugs collectively called HAART (highly active anti-retroviral therapy) has dramatically improved the life expectancy of patients with HIV, but resistance to these drugs is a problem.
Maraviroc was approved in the US in August, where it is marketed under the name of Selzentry.
It is taken in combination with other anti-retroviral drugs, but works in an entirely new way.
It blocks a microscopic doorway - the CCR5 receptor - which HIV uses to enter and infect human cells called CD4-T-cells.
All other currently available oral HIV medicines work on the HIV virus once it has entered the immune cells.
Trials show that in suitable patients - those infected with only CCR5-tropic HIV-1 - it can help reduce the levels of virus circulating in the blood stream and increase the numbers of immune CD4 cells.
Between 50 and 78% of people with HIV have this strain.
.
Pfizer's new treatment Celsentri (maraviroc) blocks HIV's entry to immune system cells - the first new oral class of HIV/Aids treatment in more than a decade.
Although it is not a cure, it can help patients who have not responded to other available HIV drugs. A cocktail of three drugs collectively called HAART (highly active anti-retroviral therapy) has dramatically improved the life expectancy of patients with HIV, but resistance to these drugs is a problem.
Maraviroc was approved in the US in August, where it is marketed under the name of Selzentry.
It is taken in combination with other anti-retroviral drugs, but works in an entirely new way.
It blocks a microscopic doorway - the CCR5 receptor - which HIV uses to enter and infect human cells called CD4-T-cells.
All other currently available oral HIV medicines work on the HIV virus once it has entered the immune cells.
Trials show that in suitable patients - those infected with only CCR5-tropic HIV-1 - it can help reduce the levels of virus circulating in the blood stream and increase the numbers of immune CD4 cells.
Between 50 and 78% of people with HIV have this strain.
.
Friday, November 23, 2007
of the Why and Wherefore
.
I began the search for the truth about my Father out of curiosity. But also a feeling of urgency, an idea that I ought to know before it was too late what he was like, who he was, what he did and why.
Looking back I suppose I knew all the time some of the answers to some of these question, but was afraid to fill in the blanks myself.
You see, guilt was Father’s weapon, and silence was his means of achieving that.
My Father died 12 years ago, suddenly, dramatically, shrouded in silence and secrecy. Mother told me for years that she didn’t really know what he’d died of. Lately she has admitted to me that there was a death certificate and that it was something like a stroke. He’d collapsed outside a store in the time between Christmas and New Year. Typical detail: he was buying eau de toilette for my Mother’s birthday, and of course he had waited until the sales were on.
A few years ago my Mother and I were talking about him and I mentioned to her that I grew up with the idea that we were poor, that both of them had to work all the time to just get by. My Mother was amazed at this. “We weren’t poor! Your Father was just stingy!” Later she added the nuance that he was not only stingy but was also capable of spending huge amounts of money on “rubbish”.
My brother and I have also spent the last few years growing closer. Hearing him talk about our family life sounds like he lived in another dimension. His interpretation, his experiences have almost nothing to do with mine.
His greatest revelation to me was during the last time I saw him when he suddenly proclaimed that he “hated Father”. I’d never heard him so emotional before; it was so obviously real and meant that it shocked me. We are talking about 12 years on here. 12 years to soften the emotion, 12 years to weaken the impact, and still it came out as raw emotion.
It became an obsession. My family, who were they? My parents, my grand parents, my great grand parents. However, each fact that I discovered opened yet another can of worms. My Mother gave me photos of her grand parents, but couldn’t tell me what their names were! I mean she doesn’t know what her Grandmother’s name was! Bizarre. Added to that, there is almost no evidence that my Grandfather even had a family.
I think I was hoping for a key to my life. But these people, my family didn’t even have a key to their own lives. How could my Mother have lived with a man for all those years and not known what he did in the evenings, St John Ambulance Brigade, Telephone Line for Families of Cancer Patients etc, she knew none of this. How much did both of them not know? How much did both of them not want to know?
We lived as a very nuclear family. Aunts and Uncles were tolerated, and later on, not. By the time I left for university there were almost no members of the extended family left. My Mother was an only child, her Mother’s family was large, and my Father’s family was large. So why did two of his brothers wait until his funeral to show up? Two men on our side of the church who I had never seen before. Two men who my Mother vaguely remembered but couldn’t quite place.
I’ve realised now that the reason I know so little about my family is not through lack of interest on my part.
My knowledge of our family is and was as restrictive as the world that my parents created for themselves. Small and controllable.
My Father’s insecurity translated as silent aggression.
My Mother’s 'by default' support of the status quo.
All this is conjecture of course. I have no way of knowing what they thought and think. Of the why and wherefore.
I think its time to bury the unknown and deal with my life as it is. I can’t and won’t carry the burden of their lives with me. Leave the secrets in the dusty trunk in the attic.
.
I began the search for the truth about my Father out of curiosity. But also a feeling of urgency, an idea that I ought to know before it was too late what he was like, who he was, what he did and why.
Looking back I suppose I knew all the time some of the answers to some of these question, but was afraid to fill in the blanks myself.
You see, guilt was Father’s weapon, and silence was his means of achieving that.
My Father died 12 years ago, suddenly, dramatically, shrouded in silence and secrecy. Mother told me for years that she didn’t really know what he’d died of. Lately she has admitted to me that there was a death certificate and that it was something like a stroke. He’d collapsed outside a store in the time between Christmas and New Year. Typical detail: he was buying eau de toilette for my Mother’s birthday, and of course he had waited until the sales were on.
A few years ago my Mother and I were talking about him and I mentioned to her that I grew up with the idea that we were poor, that both of them had to work all the time to just get by. My Mother was amazed at this. “We weren’t poor! Your Father was just stingy!” Later she added the nuance that he was not only stingy but was also capable of spending huge amounts of money on “rubbish”.
My brother and I have also spent the last few years growing closer. Hearing him talk about our family life sounds like he lived in another dimension. His interpretation, his experiences have almost nothing to do with mine.
His greatest revelation to me was during the last time I saw him when he suddenly proclaimed that he “hated Father”. I’d never heard him so emotional before; it was so obviously real and meant that it shocked me. We are talking about 12 years on here. 12 years to soften the emotion, 12 years to weaken the impact, and still it came out as raw emotion.
It became an obsession. My family, who were they? My parents, my grand parents, my great grand parents. However, each fact that I discovered opened yet another can of worms. My Mother gave me photos of her grand parents, but couldn’t tell me what their names were! I mean she doesn’t know what her Grandmother’s name was! Bizarre. Added to that, there is almost no evidence that my Grandfather even had a family.
I think I was hoping for a key to my life. But these people, my family didn’t even have a key to their own lives. How could my Mother have lived with a man for all those years and not known what he did in the evenings, St John Ambulance Brigade, Telephone Line for Families of Cancer Patients etc, she knew none of this. How much did both of them not know? How much did both of them not want to know?
We lived as a very nuclear family. Aunts and Uncles were tolerated, and later on, not. By the time I left for university there were almost no members of the extended family left. My Mother was an only child, her Mother’s family was large, and my Father’s family was large. So why did two of his brothers wait until his funeral to show up? Two men on our side of the church who I had never seen before. Two men who my Mother vaguely remembered but couldn’t quite place.
I’ve realised now that the reason I know so little about my family is not through lack of interest on my part.
My knowledge of our family is and was as restrictive as the world that my parents created for themselves. Small and controllable.
My Father’s insecurity translated as silent aggression.
My Mother’s 'by default' support of the status quo.
All this is conjecture of course. I have no way of knowing what they thought and think. Of the why and wherefore.
I think its time to bury the unknown and deal with my life as it is. I can’t and won’t carry the burden of their lives with me. Leave the secrets in the dusty trunk in the attic.
.
Monday, November 19, 2007
In The Night Garden
upsy daisy,
iggle piggle,
tombliboos,
makka pakka,
titifers,
haa hoos,
witingers,
pontipines,
ninky nonk,
pinky ponk, et al ....
The BBC .... from the people that brought you the TeliTubbies .... another consciousness altering piece of media excellence ....
A disturbed mind is a joy forever ....
Tip: don't watch this - its just as addictive as watching Tinky Winky exploring his/her sexuality using the tried and tested handbag long term lease system ....
.
The Tower
.
My alter ego is the Survivor, whose power for revolution lies in my epiphany for change, brought on with the aid of a serious reality check.
Today I have reached a turning point.
It may be all over but the crying -- but I have the strength to move on and create a better situation for myself. You may say that I never saw it coming or learned the hard way, but with profound change comes new opportunity.
One door closes -- another opens.
So tear down the wall, and rebuild anew.
.
My alter ego is the Survivor, whose power for revolution lies in my epiphany for change, brought on with the aid of a serious reality check.
Today I have reached a turning point.
It may be all over but the crying -- but I have the strength to move on and create a better situation for myself. You may say that I never saw it coming or learned the hard way, but with profound change comes new opportunity.
One door closes -- another opens.
So tear down the wall, and rebuild anew.
.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Travis - My Eyes
my weakness for lads from north of the border ....
welcome, welcome,
shame about the weather
welcome, welcome,
you're welcome
its a sin, its a sin,
we're birds of a feather ...
Friday, November 16, 2007
U.S. To HIV+: Stay Out
.
.
The government has proposed new rules which will make it even harder for HIV+ persons to enter the country, according to Gay Men's Health Crisis and Immigration Equality.
On World AIDS Day last year, President Bush announced his intention to create a streamlined process for foreign travelers with HIV to enter the United States more easily.
Currently the United States is one of only 13 countries in the world, including Iraq, Saudi Arabia, and Sudan, which ban travel for individuals who are HIV-positive.
Now, almost a year later, DHS has proposed "streamlined" regulations which would make it even harder to get a short-term waiver, Immigration Equality and the Gay Men's Health Crisis say in a joint statement.
"Unfortunately, despite using the terms 'streamlined' and 'categorical,' in reality these regulations are neither," said Victoria Neilson, Legal Director of Immigration Equality.
Under the new rules, a visitor would need to travel with all the medication he would need during his stay in the U.S., prove that he has medical insurance that is accepted in the U.S. and would cover any medical contingency, and prove that he won't engage in behavior that might put the American public at risk. The maximum term of the waiver would be 30 days.
"More than two decades into this epidemic, the United States continues to stigmatize people with HIV and treat this illness unlike any other virus," said Neilson.
You have to prove you won't engage in risky behavior? Why don't they just ask you to prove you won't get hit by a car? How do you prove you won't do something in the future? And even if you GET a waiver, you can only stay 30 days?
Just outrageous.
.
The government has proposed new rules which will make it even harder for HIV+ persons to enter the country, according to Gay Men's Health Crisis and Immigration Equality.
On World AIDS Day last year, President Bush announced his intention to create a streamlined process for foreign travelers with HIV to enter the United States more easily.
Currently the United States is one of only 13 countries in the world, including Iraq, Saudi Arabia, and Sudan, which ban travel for individuals who are HIV-positive.
Now, almost a year later, DHS has proposed "streamlined" regulations which would make it even harder to get a short-term waiver, Immigration Equality and the Gay Men's Health Crisis say in a joint statement.
"Unfortunately, despite using the terms 'streamlined' and 'categorical,' in reality these regulations are neither," said Victoria Neilson, Legal Director of Immigration Equality.
Under the new rules, a visitor would need to travel with all the medication he would need during his stay in the U.S., prove that he has medical insurance that is accepted in the U.S. and would cover any medical contingency, and prove that he won't engage in behavior that might put the American public at risk. The maximum term of the waiver would be 30 days.
"More than two decades into this epidemic, the United States continues to stigmatize people with HIV and treat this illness unlike any other virus," said Neilson.
You have to prove you won't engage in risky behavior? Why don't they just ask you to prove you won't get hit by a car? How do you prove you won't do something in the future? And even if you GET a waiver, you can only stay 30 days?
Just outrageous.
source: Joe.My.God
.
I don't have to add anything to this blog from Joe.
,
Divine
Divine in the showroom of a wholesale door manufacturer.
Gone but not forgotten, at least not by me.
I have the dubious honour of having hung next to Divine in a gallery once (photos darling).
"I'm so beautiful,
You gotta believe that I am beautiful.
I'm so beautiful,
can't you see?
Look at me!"
Cash Crash
.
Panicking about money (or to be more accurate the lack of it) is something I am very good at.
Many of you know the problems I've had, have, in this area the last few years. To be honest, it seems to be a recurring theme in my life ever since I left my ex. Maybe he threw one final curse at me as I walked out the door.
I wouldn't put it past him, but then again I'd hate to see myself in such a typical soap opera scenario.
But no.
While the relationship lasted, probably before, he was in financial problems. I was just a way of solving them for him. That's why he was so pissed off when I left.
Oh yes,
and the other thing;
quote,
"but now i'll have to use a condom!" ....
.
Panicking about money (or to be more accurate the lack of it) is something I am very good at.
Many of you know the problems I've had, have, in this area the last few years. To be honest, it seems to be a recurring theme in my life ever since I left my ex. Maybe he threw one final curse at me as I walked out the door.
I wouldn't put it past him, but then again I'd hate to see myself in such a typical soap opera scenario.
But no.
While the relationship lasted, probably before, he was in financial problems. I was just a way of solving them for him. That's why he was so pissed off when I left.
Oh yes,
and the other thing;
quote,
"but now i'll have to use a condom!" ....
.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Schorer / NOVA Part 2
.
Sorry .... in my anger i couldn't quite think of the word to describe the Schorer stichting et al.
now i'm slightly calmer i've got the word that sums them all up perfectly;
Incompetent
.
Sorry .... in my anger i couldn't quite think of the word to describe the Schorer stichting et al.
now i'm slightly calmer i've got the word that sums them all up perfectly;
Incompetent
.
David Bowie - Loving the alien
Prayers,
they hide the saddest view
Believing the strangest things
Loving the alien
and your prayers
will break the sky in two
Believing the strangest things
Loving the alien ....
David Bowie
Schorer / NOVA
.
As expected ....
A completely useless Schorer Monitor, ask anyone with hiv if they could fill the questionnaire in properly and you'll know why.
And of course leaving the whole of the community once again wide open to attack by the Media/Press.
e.g
65% of hiv infected gay men have unsafe sex.
Nowhere in the questionnaire was it possible to say 'yes i have so-called unsafe sex but only with other hiv infected gay men.'
76% of hiv infected gay men do not tell their sex partners that they are hiv positive.
Nowhere in the questionnaire was it possible to say, 'i don't tell my partners i am hiv positive because i already know, because i only have sex with gay men who are hiv positive, and by the way does it make any difference if i tell someone i am hiv positive or not? shouldn't they also be responsible for their own safety and have safer sex regardless of what i say or do not say?'
Useless.
The whole of the Schorer, the Hiv Vereniging and SOA/Aids Fonds should be thrown on the bonfire and something worthwhile built from the ashes.
You want to know about hiv en gay men?
Ask a gay man with hiv.
Its that simple.
.
As expected ....
A completely useless Schorer Monitor, ask anyone with hiv if they could fill the questionnaire in properly and you'll know why.
And of course leaving the whole of the community once again wide open to attack by the Media/Press.
e.g
65% of hiv infected gay men have unsafe sex.
Nowhere in the questionnaire was it possible to say 'yes i have so-called unsafe sex but only with other hiv infected gay men.'
76% of hiv infected gay men do not tell their sex partners that they are hiv positive.
Nowhere in the questionnaire was it possible to say, 'i don't tell my partners i am hiv positive because i already know, because i only have sex with gay men who are hiv positive, and by the way does it make any difference if i tell someone i am hiv positive or not? shouldn't they also be responsible for their own safety and have safer sex regardless of what i say or do not say?'
Useless.
The whole of the Schorer, the Hiv Vereniging and SOA/Aids Fonds should be thrown on the bonfire and something worthwhile built from the ashes.
You want to know about hiv en gay men?
Ask a gay man with hiv.
Its that simple.
.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
.... and why lesbians should never be given true power ....
.
Dan Savage reports that Seattle's Lifelong AIDS Alliance has canned Glamazonia, the long-time hostess of its popular Gay Bingo fundraiser, because (get this) of a new sexual harassment policy that does not allow the use of naughty language during its events. Specifically proscribed are the words "fuck" and "cunt".
Drag queens.
No trash talk.
The mind reels.
Glamazonia, aka Thom Hubert, says, "There was language [in the policy] how 'the performer/mc will prepare material avoiding sexually suggestive material… will use appropriate language and avoid vulgar language.' As a drag queen, if I stuck to this stuff by the letter, why, I’d have to wear a black robe and stand behind a podium and just read the numbers out. The contract said, ‘the host will not act in a flirtatious manner, will not wear reveailing clothing, will not make sexual gestures or comments.’
How could any drag queen appear or perform under these guidelines?"
None that I've ever seen could.
Dan Savage reports that Seattle's Lifelong AIDS Alliance has canned Glamazonia, the long-time hostess of its popular Gay Bingo fundraiser, because (get this) of a new sexual harassment policy that does not allow the use of naughty language during its events. Specifically proscribed are the words "fuck" and "cunt".
Drag queens.
No trash talk.
The mind reels.
Glamazonia, aka Thom Hubert, says, "There was language [in the policy] how 'the performer/mc will prepare material avoiding sexually suggestive material… will use appropriate language and avoid vulgar language.' As a drag queen, if I stuck to this stuff by the letter, why, I’d have to wear a black robe and stand behind a podium and just read the numbers out. The contract said, ‘the host will not act in a flirtatious manner, will not wear reveailing clothing, will not make sexual gestures or comments.’
How could any drag queen appear or perform under these guidelines?"
None that I've ever seen could.
source: Joe.My.God
.
Don't Feed, KILL!
.
New York City Councilman Simcha Felder, (D-Brooklyn) proposed a new ordinance today which would outlaw feeding pigeons, punishable by fines up to $1000. Felder was on the evening news tonight to say, "Hey, if you like pigeons so much, bring them into your home and feed them there. And let them crap all over your house instead of the city."
A single pigeon produces 25 pounds of droppings a year. As people with HIV are particularly imperiled by pigeon-borne illnesses, there have been some real showdowns with pigeon feeders in places like San Francisco.
My opinion, from the JMG archives:
Pigeons, dey's just feathered rats
Dey's make more noise than fucking cats
Me and neighbors, in cahoots
Stomp them with our steely boots
Make dey's little heads go splats
Related: KillThePigeons.com.
New York City Councilman Simcha Felder, (D-Brooklyn) proposed a new ordinance today which would outlaw feeding pigeons, punishable by fines up to $1000. Felder was on the evening news tonight to say, "Hey, if you like pigeons so much, bring them into your home and feed them there. And let them crap all over your house instead of the city."
A single pigeon produces 25 pounds of droppings a year. As people with HIV are particularly imperiled by pigeon-borne illnesses, there have been some real showdowns with pigeon feeders in places like San Francisco.
My opinion, from the JMG archives:
Pigeons, dey's just feathered rats
Dey's make more noise than fucking cats
Me and neighbors, in cahoots
Stomp them with our steely boots
Make dey's little heads go splats
Related: KillThePigeons.com.
source: Joe.My.God
Sometimes just reading Joe.My.God almost restores my faith in americans.
Sometimes.
Almost.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
The Holiday Season
.
Whether you like it or not, Christmas IS a-coming.
There is no better place on earth to shop for stuff for presents than Eric's store in San Francisco (or online of course, just say its for me).
If anyone is making a list for me at the moment (I live in hope) please oh please a pot or two of Nancy Boy Shaving Cream because there just absolutely isn't any other shaving cream, foam, oil or whatever that even comes close to it, period.
Soap in any or all fragrances, soft and creamy and doesn't dry your skin out.
Secret weapons in the battle against time .... Ultramarine Night Cream & Replenishing Facial Moisturizer remember you heard about it here first ....
Oh, what the hell, anything will do, as long as its Nancy Boy, Eric's store in San Francisco.
.
p.s. I have no shares in this company whatsoever, dear god i wish i had!
.
Father
.
So, Dad had a stroke
and before that he'd had brainscans.
He suffered from headaches.
If he'd survived the stroke he
would have been a vegetable.
Mom's started regretting talking to me
about him.
Guilt and shame.
Father's weapons.
I wonder how much she
suffered his silence?
In the pulpit he was in his
element.
Master of all he surveyed.
The centre of the universe.
The arbiter of morals.
Power.
.
25+
Honestly and truthfully .... i've finally seen the first proofs of the 25+ book and i am astonished.
Even if you just buy this book to look suitably politically correct as it lies on your coffe table i don't care (it looks fucking gorgeous)
Even if you don't actually read it (which you really, really should because its bloody good)
Even if you keep it in a brown paper envelope tucked under your mattress (which you really shouldn't)
Get out there and buy it!
Publishing date 1 December 2007
25+
25 jaar hiv en aids in de Nederlandse homoscene
Fucking beautiful.
.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water ....
.
a dear friend gave me this old but functional computer
online again at last ....
what a relief ....
.
a dear friend gave me this old but functional computer
online again at last ....
what a relief ....
.
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