The Whore Of Babylon

The Protestant Church is ripping itself apart over the subject of 'homosexuality'. A schism not seen for many centuries between fundamentalist conservatism and liberals.

The Pope, in a spirit of divine opportunism, has set a course with the Roman Catholic Church of hard-core conservatism hoping to glean the crop of disillusioned right wingers from the Protestant Church.

He's willing to go as far as necessary to get the RC Church back on the 'straight and narrow'. Far enough indeed to re-ordain a bishop who believes that the Holocaust didn't really happen.

Revelations - the end of the world is close at hand, for the Whore Of Babylon truly does sit on the throne in the House Of God.

MSM

The New Year's reception of the Aids Machine was this week. I sent my Auntie.

Of course she embarrassed all and sundry by not being able to hold her tongue on certain issues. She wasn't embarrassed herself, far from it.

A woman from Los Angeles cornered her towards the end of the evening and introduced herself as one of the members of the 'MSM' Congress. She'd just been told wittily by a (probably very drunk gay) man that it stood for 'Men Sucking Men'.

This was Auntie's response ....

"Men who have Sex with Men? Is that what we are supposed to call them these days? Isn't that just a tiny bit irreverent towards all those Gay men who have suffered, and sometimes died, for the right to express their sexuality?"

"Does a Bi-Sexual Man have Bi-sexual Sex when he has sex with a Man? No, He has sex, and because its two (or more) men, then its gay."

"Being Black isn't about the colour of someone's skin. Being Black is about the discrimination because of the colour of someone's skin. The moment one is not discriminated against because of their skin colour then they have no need to call themselves Black."

"Being Gay isn't about having sex with other Gay men. Being Gay is about being discriminated against because of that sexual identity. The moment a Gay man stops being discriminated against because of that then he loses the need to identify himself as being Gay."

"Re-claiming words such as 'Black' and 'Gay' are responses to oppression, discrimination and apartheid. When these things no longer exist then there will be no need for the oppressed minorities to distance themselves from the rest of the world. There will be no need for a 'Black Mentality. No need for a 'Queer Consciousness'. No desire for a 'Woman's Culture'. Why? Because there will be no more fear."

"But until that day I think its wiser to call a spade a spade. Don't you?"

Of course the LA woman explained that the government had demanded its use in order for them to qualify for subsidy. There's an answer to that of course, but thankfully Auntie kept it to herself for once.

MSM is infinitely oppressive and discriminatory as a term. It is repulsive and degrading and it is doubly disgraceful if 'so-called' Gay organizations use it.

DUFFY RAIN ON YOUR PARADE (FULL VIDEO) HQ

Duffy does Judy ....

All aboard the Atheist Bus Campaign

"They have to take offense, its the only weapon they've got!"

Hibernation

I feel like a bear in winter sleep the last few months. Like today I can sleep anything up to and including 15 hours at a stretch. No, that's not a good thing I know, but its just one of those 'small' side effects of my medication.

How I'm ever supposed to do a full time job again I do not know.

That saddens me.

Not because of the job, I've learnt over the last years that I really can exist as a person without the emotional crutch of a career, but because it means my energy level is so low its almost non-existent.

Ah well, I'll just call it beauty sleep and say I need it more than most.

(before somebody else does) ....

Demons

"Nothing's gonna harm you

not while I'm around.

Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir,

not while I'm around.

Demons are prowling everywhere, nowadays.

I'll send them howling,

I've got ways."

"No-one's gonna hurt you,

no-one's gonna dare.

Others may desert you,

not to worry,

whistle, I'll be there."

"Being close and being clever,

ain't like being true.

I don't need to,

I would never hide a thing from you.

Like some ...."

From 'Sweeney Todd'

This is the song I used to sing to myself in my head when things got really bad during the 'Herman' days. When he was being raped every day by his German ex and I was helpless to intervene. Herman had decided that resistance was futile and had forbidden me to intervene. He had, in fact, emasculated me. In this way he forced me to watch, or at least listen to his degradation in a state of utter despair.

Every night I would lie on my stretcher bed in the attic and listen to the shouting and screaming below. Formless words in a language I did not understand. 

Then the silence. 

Then the grunting. 

Then sleep.

In Memoriam

Edwin van der Knaap

30 November 1968 - 20 November 2008

I should read the Poz + proud Blog more often I know, but I seemed to have missed this sadness too.

Poor Edwin. Life was not easy for him in very many ways.

In Memoriam

Gerard Boels

7 March 1957 - 1 November 2008

I only found out today when I emptied the mail box and found the new Hivnieuws.

Gerard is finally dead. Why finally? Because he fought it all the way. From the moment I first met him almost 30 years ago up until the last moment I saw him just before his birthday, his unique mix of stubborn refusal to accept defeat and hysterical enthousiasm have always typified him for me.

We met when we met, we didn't when we didn't. We weren't friends but we definitely weren't strangers. I think we both knew more secrets about each other's lives than most people close to us.

I remember his refusal to even entertain the idea that he might have aids, so long ago, I'd already lost Herman to aids and he knew that but still he wouldn't talk about his own vague symptoms, aches and pains.

He'd disappear for months on end when he felt ill (ugly), and then re-appear as if nothing was wrong.

I found him again years ago at the Aids Fund, a different person.

Poz + Proud.

I won't miss him every day, because I never saw him every day, But the world will.