World Aids Day

I'm sick of that fucking red ribbon already.

Add to the list Stichting Hiv Monitoring, Mr Director Professor Frank de Wolf, the Schorer and (almost) all of the rest of the 'Aids Machine'.

Well, that's got that off my chest.

For a while.

You see, that ribbon has nothing to do with me any more.

It has become a symbol of the 'Aids Machine'. An enormous machine that rolls forward with or without me. Its sole purpose to perpetuate its own existence, its sole aim in life to further itself, its 'raison d'etre' status/money/power.

Even in the Netherlands alone the cost of the 'Aids Machine' to the nation is horendously high - or at least we think it is because there is as yet no way to actually find out how much - and if someone did find a way he/she would probably be gently but firmly poldered away before it got out.

But the cost is not the problem as such, at least not to me. Lord knows a part of my very existence is dependent upon this money for medication etc.

My problem with the 'Aids Machine' is the amount of money that it produces ....

Not specifically the Pharmaceutical Companies. They are at least generally open and straightforward about their intentions, seeing no need to hide their profit and loss figures, relatively safe in their own high-powered multi-national world.

The 'Aids Machine' is a badly organised, dysfunctional, but extremely well oiled machine.

And no-one dares to say it.

Not even me.

Pigeon: Impossible

Thnx to Leo

Childhood

As a child I lived in my own small head. My own small world, protected
from the big world outside, a world I had little or no knowledge of.

The big world outside was full of dangers, but I didn't know that. I
didn't know that with the danger came also chances, opportunities.
Chances to interact with other people, experiment with relationships,
social constructions, which would have enabled me to make my own way
emotionally in the world.

But I didn't know this and as a result grew up the way I did, and into
who and what I am.

Sent from my iPhone

Schorer Monitor

Vorige week was de presentatie van de Monitor door de Schorer, en ik was er bij.

Een paar dingen ....

Dit keer was het geen pers-bijeenkomst, alleen zogenaamd mensen 'uit het veld'. D.w.z. GGD'en, Jellinek, Farmaceuten, enz - en - wij, Poz + Proud, de Hiv Vereniging.

Directeur van de Schorer, Ferdinand Strijthagen, opende het bijeenkomst met de volgende ....
"De Schorer Monitor is sec bedoeld om gegevens te verzamelen die gebruikt kunnen worden in het gevecht tegen Hiv."
"De Schorer is geen belangenorganisatie, het is meer een instituut, zoals Stivoro (Stichting Stoppen Met Roken)."

Dus .....

Alle homomannen die niet snapten waarom de Schorer niet voor hun gezondheid opkwamen kunnen het nu wel snappen - volgens de Directeur, daar zijn ze niet voor.

En als je volgende jaar weer gevraagd wordt om de Schorer Monitor in te vullen realiseer je nu wel dat je het niet voor jezelf, of de homogemeenschap in het algemeen doet - nee - het is alleen voor de Schorer zelf.

Poz.com

How Stigma Kills

by Regan Hofmann

People don't want us to: Cut their hair, Serve them food, Babysit their children, Marry them Or be their friend.* Why AIDS stigma is as deadly as the virus itself.

Defined as "a mark of shame, disgrace or discredit," stigma has long plagued HIV/AIDS. It is one of the defining characteristics of the disease, differentiating it from its biologically-parallel-but-socially-altogether-different retroviral kin: hepatitis, herpes and human papillomavirus (HPV). While we can chirpily discuss vaccinating our children against HPV as we choke down our Cheerios, and we can sit comfortably in front of commercials for herpes drugs, the mere whisper of the word "AIDS" often causes all polite conversation to cease.

We're not imagining this. In 2007, amfAR, the Foundation for AIDS Research, commissioned Harris Interactive to conduct a study among the general American public seeking their attitudes about women living with HIV/AIDS. The survey showed that the majority of Americans are uncomfortable around people living with the virus. More specifically, the study revealed that 59 percent of Americans are somewhat or not at all comfortable with having an HIV-positive woman providing them with child care; 47 percent of Americans are somewhat or not at all comfortable with having an HIV-positive woman serve them food at a restaurant, and 35 percent of Americans are somewhat or not at all comfortable with having an HIV-positive woman as their hairdresser. This study, which mined attitudes about HIV-positive women, flushes out that it is indeed the virus itself that makes people squirm. In other words, people don't fear HIV because (as some suggest) they misperceive it to be a gay or a black disease; they fear HIV and the people living with it, period.

The study also revealed that the vast majority of Americans are not comfortable with the idea of having a romantic relationship with an HIV-positive partner. Eighty-seven percent of Americans are somewhat or not at all comfortable dating someone who is HIV positive, and 89 percent of Americans are somewhat or not at all comfortable marrying someone who is HIV positive. One in five Americans said they would not be comfortable with having an HIV-positive woman as a close friend. Ouch.

The results of a recent survey on poz.com about stigma showed that our readers' perceptions of the general public's attitude toward people living with HIV are spot-on. Eighty-eight percent of you said that your fear of being stigmatized has made dating/relationships more difficult (remember, 87 percent of the general public said they're uncomfortable dating you), and 91 percent of you believe AIDS stigma prevents people from getting romantically serious with/getting married to you (89 percent of the general public agreed with you). That's very close statistical mirroring.

Given that HIV-related stigma is as bad as we perceive it to be, it's no wonder then that 65 percent of you said that HIV-related stigma has prevented you from disclosing to family members; 71 percent of you said it keeps you from telling coworkers; and 60 percent of you said you don't tell friends because of fear of being stigmatized.

One statistic we found particularly disturbing in the Harris study was that very few Americans believe that HIV-positive women should have children. In response to the question, Should a woman with any of the following conditions have children?, fifty-nine percent said women with cancer should have a child; 47 percent of people said women with depression should; 37 percent said women with multiple sclerosis should; 20 percent said women with hepatitis C should; 19 percent said women with Down syndrome should; and 17 percent said women with schizophrenia should. Yet, only 14 percent of Americans said they thought women with HIV should have a child.

This points to a root cause of AIDS stigma: lack of education. Too many people still don't have the correct facts about the disease. For example, women with HIV under proper medical care can usually have a child without passing the virus on and are likely to live long enough to parent the child. Since lack of information breeds fear and fear breeds stigma, one clear prescription for fighting stigma is renewed awareness and better education around the disease.

It would be one thing if stigma stopped with an attitude. If all it meant to be stigmatized was that some people didn't like us, it would perhaps be manageable, albeit uncomfortable. But when stigma gets in the way of our survival, that's another thing entirely. Thirty-four percent of you said that fear of stigma has prevented you from seeking care, treatment and support. And 19 percent of you said you don't disclose to health care professionals because of HIV-related stigma, a fact that certainly compromises the level of care you are receiving. Imagine how many people don't get tested for HIV because of stigma. It's estimated that one in five Americans living with the disease is unaware of his or her status. And according to the CDC, it's estimated that HIV-positive people who are unaware of their infection may account for 54 to 70 percent of all new sexually transmitted HIV infections in the United States. Seems clear to us that stigma is a barrier to individual—and public—health. Not to mention that 48 percent of you said fear of stigma has adversely affected your career. It's harder to keep a good job and afford medical insurance and prescription drugs if you're not performing at optimal levels at work.

But while much of the impact of HIV-related stigma is quantifiable, it is, arguably, those aspects of stigma not captured by statistics that prove the most devastating. As we went to press, more than 1,000 of you told us chilling stories of how stigma negatively affects your lives—breaking down your spirit and your will to live.

Only a small group of you spoke of how you fight stigma, standing proud and strong despite society's desire to keep you down. Some of you have found the inner strength and resolve to rise up in spite of people's fear and ignorance.

As a community of people living with HIV and as a society in general, we need to do a better job fighting stigma by reopening the dialogue about this disease and dragging the unseen facts and faces into the light. Because it is much easier to fear what we don't know. (Interestingly, while 85 percent of you said that President Obama and his administration are not doing enough to combat stigma around HIV/AIDS, 78 percent of you said that the HIV/AIDS community itself is not doing enough to combat stigma.)

It's a chicken-and-egg conundrum. Stigma around AIDS will only dissipate when the world is safe enough for people with HIV to no longer fear disclosing. Individually, many of us living with HIV who have disclosed in POZ or in our lives have seen that people can be supportive and kind once they understand the facts around the disease. (Sixty-seven percent of you said that people treated you the same, post disclosure.) But 87 percent of you said that the current anti-discrimination laws do not sufficiently protect HIV-positive people from being stigmatized, which means that things must change before we can afford to show our faces and change the way the world sees people living with HIV—for the better.

Forty-nine percent of you said that HIV-positive people's fear of being stigmatized is worse than the actual stigma. At POZ, we see repeatedly that this is true. For those who feel they are ready, and can safely come forward, speaking about having HIV can do much to erode the corrosive stigma that keeps us from good health. It bashes stigma when we show the world we have nothing to hide—and are nothing to fear.

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Jackie Beat - Baby Got Front

the Mexican

What's there to say more about the Mexican flu jab that hasn't been said already?

Well, apart from the fact that I had it yesterday, it hurt less than the normal flu jab and I actually feel better today than I did before.

The conspiracy theories abound. Its either this or the end of the world in 2010 (or 2012).