Safe(r) Sex?

How 'Safe' is 'Safe Sex'?

I've searched the Net for hard evidence on the safety of condoms and the use of condoms, but not even the 'holier than thou' Terence Higgins Trust dares to put a figure on it.

"Of all the ways you can lower the risks you take in your sex life using condoms is the most effective. Condoms have one of the highest success rates at stopping unwanted pregnancies and preventing many sexually transmitted infections, including HIV (the virus that can lead to AIDS)."

First of all, the fact that the THT even suggests that there are alternatives to condom use is something that in the Netherlands unthinkable is. A hint that risk reduction strategies could be as useful and/ or efficient as condom use is seen as almost criminal here.

The Netherlands is also the only nation left that talks about 'Safe Sex'. The rest of the world agrees that condom use is efficient but not 100% and can therefore never be called 'Safe', at the most 'Safer'.

The strange hypocrisy is of course that so called low risk activities such as dick sucking etc. are now regarded as somehow more acceptable. Or te be more precise, the risk is more acceptable. There are no figures for this, no documentation, no tests or research. How the hell we got the idea that some low risk activities were 'safe' and others 'not safe' is beyond me. A sort of trade off?

The only way to avoid transferring the virus van one person to the other is if both people have the virus already i.e. serosorting. Why on earth is this so unacceptable? Its a damn sight more effective than a condom at halting the spread of hiv.

Is it the fact that it implies that hiv infected people have sex? Should sick people have sex? Should the men in the invisible wheelchairs be celibate, or even sexless?

Maybe its there that the source of the discrimination lies. For discrimination it is however we try to rationalise it away.


Its okay to be hiv positive.

Its reasonably okay to be hiv positive and gay.

Its not okay to be hiv positive, gay and have sex with other men.