Resistance is Futile

I think the reason the immigrant issue so problematic is here in the Netherlands, is because to a certain degree everyone has always relied on the old tried and tested tactic which doesn't seem to work anymore.

Tactic?

The Dutch attitude towards anything 'foreign' has always been one of 'assimilation'. In very much the same way as the Borg did, Dutch society bears down on anything out of the Dutch ordinary and smothers it slowly but surely with mediocracy, absorbs what is useable and vomits what is useless.

The Dutch language is liberally peppered with sayings that have always been used to control society. "Don't stick your head out above the corn field because it will be chopped off", "Act normal, that's crazy enough", etc.

The Netherlands even managed to do this with the Surinamers, a sensitive, highly strung race of people of diverse ancestry. How? By forcing them slowly but surely to become 'normal'. Of course they were allowed certain social privileges that reflected their status as 'originally other'. However, their position has now been taken over by other parts of the immigrant community and they are beginning to feel the weight of society pushing their 'other' status into a commercially acceptable form of entertainment instead of a valid political grouping.

Dutch tolerance is a temporary tactic that permits society to carry on functioning without derailing until 'assimilation' kicks in.

But the sheer weight of numbers has meant this long term tactic of cultural osmosis isn't fast enough to cope with the Moroccan and Dutch Antilles immigrant problems. The second generation has not been fully assimilated yet the third and fourth are already on their way.

Dutch society is white, if not in actual skin colour then at least in terms of law and order. Democracy is now a very frightening concept for a country where a significant percentage of the population non-white is. Very frightening too is the the idea that something might have to be done about it.

Sordid Lives The Series

When do we get this on Dutch TV? Please!!!!!!!

All this and Olivia Newton John as Bitsy Mae too!!!!

Status Anxiety

saturday march 20 2004

The beginning of a mature solution to status anxiety might be said to begin with the recognition that status is available from a variety of different audiences: from industrialists and from bohemians, from families and from philosophers - and that our choice of audience can be free and willed.

Philosophy, art, politics, Christianity and bohemia did not seek to do away with a status hierarchy based on sets of values unrecognized by, and critical of, those of the majority. While retaining a firm grip on a distinction between success and failure, good and bad, shameful and honourable, these five groups endeavoured to remould our sense of what could rightfully be said to belong under these weighty headings.

In so doing, they helped to lend legitimacy to those who, in every generation, will be unable or unwilling to follow dutifully behind the dominant notions of high status but who may yet deserve to be categorized other than under the brutal epithets of loser and nobody.

They have provided us with a set of persuasive and consoling reminders that there is more than one way - and more than a judge or pharmacist's way - of succeeding at life.

Alain de Botton - Status Anxiety

The Engel

'De Engel van Amsterdam' has begun celebrating its first birthday.

It does feel like a family occasion even though of course the 1 euro beer does attract the 'wrong' sort of people at times (heterosexuals).

Its actually amazing how one bar can create such a feeling of community in such a short time. Its not faked either which is astounding seeing as we are almost 100% Gay. Its not that everyone loves each other to bits either, lord knows there are a couple I don't need to be seen with in a dark alley on a dark night.

So please, don't come to the Engel. We are happy the way it is.

Happy Birthday Andre

Hercules and Love Affair -

ethereal grit

Ultra Nate / Automatic

mmmmmmmmmmm ....

i have no excuse for this ....

Love's Philosophy

The fountains mingle with the river,
And the rivers with the ocean;
The winds of heaven mix forever,
With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one another's being mingle: --
Why not I with thine?

See! the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea: --
What are all these kissings worth,
If thou kiss not me?

Percy Bysshe Shelley 1792 - 1822

 

Hollow Victory

thursday november 14 2002

How difficult can it be to say i'm sorry ....
How difficult can it be to say i was wrong ....
How difficult can it be to say ....

Why do we always want to be right?
Why do we always want to have our say?
Why do we always want to be justified? ....

Does it make us feel better?
No

Does it make us feel happier?
No

Does it makes us feel stronger?
No

Every time we put someone right, force our opinion on another, back someone into a corner - all we are left with is the bitter after taste of victory ....

.... and victory is hollow ....

David Gandy - Dolce and Gabbana Underwear

sigh ....

Grey Bunny accidentally finds out he loves water.

It is generally recommended when attempting to drown a bunny that more water is used - or alternatively that one puts the plug in the bath.

Wet Bunny

note:
If you want to drown the bunny before cooking, its advisable to hold on when dropping said bunny into water.

Merry Christmas - er - Easter

The coldest Easter in 40 years ....

.... did I misunderstand the concept of 'Global Warming' ?

Happy Easter

Happy Easter from the Winter Wonderland that is Amsterdam today!

"Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow ...."

Mirrors

thursday september 23 2004

Mirrors never lie. But that doesn’t mean they tell the truth either.
When we look into a mirror all we see is what we want to see, what we expect to see, what we think is there.
A mirror is just about useful for making sure you have your pants on the right way round. And that’s all.

But there’s another mirror in our souls that is much more dangerous. A dark and deep pool that we never dare look into. Full of our own fears and trepidations.

To summon the courage to look into that mirror and see it for what it is, a fantasy, a warped reflection of our minds eye and not our physical being.

It was september 2000 ....

I was lying in bath trying to make a decision.

To go or to stay. 

To stay with him was to opt for a situation that was slowly but surely eating away at my self-esteem. But that was why I was lying there wasn’t it? In water that was going from hot to tepid to downright chilly. The self-esteem I had wasn’t enough to fill an eggcup, and that was painfully obvious every time I burst into tears, and bursting into tears was something that was beginning to happen much too often over the last few years. 
I always managed to bluff it even in public spaces. An acquired pollen allergy usually helped in the Spring/Summer and the flu in the Autumn/Winter. People thought I was always ill anyway as it was the only way for me to get out of most social responsibilities that I didn’t feel I could handle. 

My partner loved me being ill because it made him the long suffering martyr, and when he really wanted me with him then my being ill was not an option for me.

I remember a trip to Vienna.

He was late as usual, and as usual I was doing my desperate best to remain calm. There was a load of shit happening at work and Rescue Remedy just wasn’t helping. I’d finally got him almost out of the door (I’d lied about the departure time as usual so there was no problem there) when the thing I feared the most happened. Pain shot through my back.
My back had been a source of pain for the last few years getting steadily worse as time went on. Sometimes just a nagging ache but other times, once in a while, a body jarring spasm that would debilitate me for weeks. This was one of the latter. I actually passed out in the car on the way to the airport. Yes, of course we went to the airport. I got on the plane too with a face like death. 

That didn’t stop him. 

I stepped out of the plane in Vienna, dropped to the floor in agony, received Valium shots there and then in the airport and spent the rest of the holiday in a Valium injections enhanced hotel room.
It was the embarrassment that did it. I crawled out of the taxi into the hotel, literally on hands and feet, into the lift and then to the hotel room.

I cannot forget it.

Vaccine Failure

20 years, 4 continents, 9801 volunteers, and 561 million dollars later we are no nearer to a Hiv vaccine. 

We knew this, but what we didn't know until a few days ago was that those volunteers were not only not protected from being infected but were also at a higher risk of being infected than the placebo group. About two times as high.

The two field tests set up by the National Institutes of Health were cut short after the risks to the volunteers and the futility of going on became obvious to all involved.

"This is on the same level of catastrophe as the Challenger disaster" that destroyed a NASA space shuttle, said Robert Gallo, co-discoverer of the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), which causes AIDS, and head of the Institute for Human Virology in Baltimore.

"None of the products currently in the pipeline has any reasonable chance of being effective in field trials," Ronald C. Desrosiers, a molecular geneticist at Harvard University, declared last month at an AIDS conference "We simply do not know at the present time how to design a vaccine that will be effective against HIV.

Don't even think about what all that money could have done to help sufferers all over the world.

source: Washington Post

Group discussions are overrated

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

The Suitcase Under the Bed

tuesday february 18 2003

It's one of those moments again ....

time to remember the past - because it ain't going away - because you can live your life like the past never happened - but it is always there with you - like so much bagage

everyone arrives with bagage in some shape or form - for some its Louis Vuitton - for others its a plastic shopping bag - but we all carry it with us

sometimes i think that is what slows old people down - not arthritis but the amount of bagage that they've accumulated through the years .... every decision becomes weighted with past experiences - happy - sad - joyful - tragic .... should i get up today? yesterday was great - but the day before yesterday was shit - but last year at this time i was ..... and so they stay in bed and the world passes them by ....

we can refuse to carry the bagage around with us - that's true - but the suitcase in Berlin is still there whether we travel with it or not - pandora's box is still begging us to open it whether we hold it in our hands or not.

the more we ignore our past - the more vicious it becomes - the suitcase under the bed is where the demons of your past lurk - the suitcase on the top of the wardrobe is still casting nightime shadows over our present lives - close your eyes very tightly - pull the blanket over your head - pretend you're sleeping - you know they're still out there - waiting ....

Toto playing with block

Many more things to do with a bunny before eating it ....

From the Archives

wednesday october 02 2002

Been reading a lot lately (yes - I can read)

"Creation" and "Julian" by Gore Vidal

Mr Vidal's subtle condemnation of:
Christianity (a vicious, hierarchical, and commercial enterprise invented 50 years after Jesus died)
the ancient Greeks (Smelly, pompous, self-obessed, tone-deaf and never invented anything new in their whole existence) - "In Summer the Athenians do not bathe often. In Winter .... they bathe not at all, while their diet appears to consist entirely of onions and preserved fish - preserved from the time of Homer."
the Romans (Plagiarists all of them - well what do you expect with most of them in-bred idiots)
They're hard to get hold of - but worth it - but be prepared for your safe little world to rock on it's very foundations
(Just remember - your History teacher lied ....)

"The White Road" by John Connolly

I really don't scare easily - Steven King is boring, badly written crap ....
This book scared the shit out of me.
An evil little bastard of a novel - deceptively easy to read - and before you know it you're in some kind of red nightmare. Scarily sexy - and very dark - edgy to extremes. Some people will just throw up at some passages - others, like me, will be scared to death at the unexpected effect that the same passages have on them ....
Don't judge - just read it - preferably in full daylight ....

Angela GHEORGHIU - Casta Diva - Norma

.... but seriously ....

not a bunny to be seen in this uber sterile filming of Casta Diva - but its still beautiful.

Baby Bunny Grooming

Its Sunday!
Its almost Easter!
Its fluffy bunny grooming time!

Blasphemy

Same sex couples can marry here, prostitution is legal here, soft drugs are tolerated here. But if you take the Lord's name in vain its still a criminal act.

The law that makes blasphemy a crime in the Netherlands still exists, and the PVDA's attempts to even talk about deleting it is meeting serious opposition from the Christian parties in the government and parliament.

The timing is dubious to say the least ....

source: radionerthelands

LAKME - Léo DELIBES

Gentle music to wake up gently ....

Muffin!

"Give it to me you hot italian stallion, breed me with that horse dick you beast. Bring out the animal in me, make me your bitch you horny stud you ...."

.... but it only really becomes inappropriate if your fuck buddy is Muffin the Mule ....

(as in, for american readers, the popular 60's children's TV series - and not - something about performing cunnilingus on the female version of a cross between a donkey and a horse)

dear god! am i the only one trying to educate the masses?

Hangover Cures

In Outer Mongolia, hungover drunks are said to slurp down a pickled sheep's eye in tomato juice. This morning my tongue feels like its a part of Outer Mongolia.

Its all the Engel's fault, god's honour squire ....

Jabbercocky

In answer to friends who have asked many times how long I've been writing stuff and putting it on the net - I'll start posting stuff here that I published on my own site years ago - hope you like it (there's lots of it).

Something humorous to begin with I think ....

thursday august 21 2003

'Twas steamy, and the writhing dong
Did rise and stiffen in the night:
All hot and horny as twas long,
And forlorn was its plight.

"Beware the elusive Cocksuck son!
the mouth that sucks, the lips that smack!
Beware his greedy mouth, and shun
His mandibles' awesome crack!"

He took his awesome dong in hand:
Long time since last he came -
So rested he with swollen gland,
And played his solitary game.

And, as he lay in pensive mood.
The Cocksuck, with his eyes aflame,
Came slurping through the ugly wood,
And slobbered as he came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The dong went slobber-sneck!
And as the Cocksuck lowered his head
the dong slid down his neck.

"Oh Cocksuck thou art truly king!"
The dong said firm in place,
"I'll fuck you with my steely ring,
And cum upon your face!"

'Twas steamy, and the writhing dong
Did rise and stiffen in the night:
All hot and horny as twas long,
And forlorn was its plight.

You Tube 4

.... and suddenly, out of the blue. You Tube's Share button works ..... it knows who i am again and where my Blog is even though i deleted it ..... it posts all the videos i've been trying to post the last few days in one go ..... 

.... then Blogger keeps crashing Safari when i try to delete the videos (puleez - Safari crashing?!).... and now Blogger won't let me add pictures to the Blog ....

.... its a plot to stop me saving the world from itself ;-)

R.E.M. - Nightswimming

Aaaaarggghhhh ..... Michael ..... spontaneous ejaculation ....

You Tube 3

I've lost the ability to link from You Tube to the blog! Oh my GOD!

Is this personal?!

Is it an Apple thing?!!

Is Microsoft engaging in Guerilla warfare?!!!!!!

You Tube 2

No idea why, but I can't post You Tube videos to the blog. So you are missing a fabulous clip from Ultra Nate, 2 more cuddly bunnies and a political diatribe. I'll keep them on hold. Not the bunnies of course, not literally, no cliffs to be seen anywhere around ....

You Tube

You Tube seems to be on the blink again this morning - Pakistan at work again?

Substantial

It would be ridiculous to keep quiet about what is happening in the Netherlands. I'm sure readers from other countries are asking themselves "why the (comparative) silence?".

Its a Dutch thing of course to tend to hide our heads in the sand. If we just don't talk about it, it will go away. We buried Van Gogh, we ostracized Hirsi Ali, we forgot Fortuyn.

But the government has today raised the terrorism threat alarm to 'substantial', only one step away from 'full alert'.

Partly because of the impending release of the Wilders film, but mainly an indication of the growing problems here.

We have a government that does not know how to respond, and a Prime Minister whose only response is to say that he and the government are not responsible for anything Mr Wilders says or does. Mr Wilders is, however, a member of Parliament, legally and democratically elected by the Dutch people.

Time = Money

.... but even if it does then don't go running to the Dutch health care insurance companies ....

As of January this year anyone with a basic health insurance policy is allowed to declare only 8 visits to an independent Psychiatrist or Psycho Therapist. Anyone with the maximum policy coverage gets an extra 4 visits, 12 in total. Ok math geniuses - yes - its one visit a month if you pay the maximum.

The independents are also only allowed now to submit one declaration per year. This had to be done for this year before the end of January this year. This means that independents have to wait a year before being paid, also meaning that they have to be financially strong enough to go a year without income.

Add to this the fact that the independents were told none of this beforehand, let alone patients, then this becomes one more nail in the coffin of state subsidised health care in the Netherlands.

Most Gay men use the independent Psychologists and Psychiatrists as most of the Gay ones are independents, unable to or unwilling to work in the large psychiatric institutions. In Amsterdam for example, the greatest contributions to Gay Mental Health over the years has been by Independent Psych workers.

A Psychiatrist told me today that at least 30% of all independents had stopped working since January this year, unable to meet the financial demands.

Is this what we want for the Netherlands?

Desperate optimism

The towns of Brattleboro and Marlboro in the state of Vermont have issued warrants for the arrest of President George W. Bush and his vice-president Dick Cheney for crimes against the constitution.

Its a symbolic gesture, but the nation always tries to cleanse itself before starting anew. Absolving itself from sin. The man and his partner are to blame and not the nation that allowed them to get away with it. 

Desperate optimism is the american dream, allowing Obama to ride a wave of success (until yesterday) without any content to his rhetoric. Only the United States would think that a politician without international experience would be the most desirable person for the most international job in the White House. Clinton comes with a past, Obama is a blank page. The american people need to feel each time they choose a leader that they are giving someone a chance to lead. Its a false feeling of power, fake democracy at work, pleasing some of the people some of ....

Tiny Bunny

Its almost Easter!

.... but they are going to have to feed this one to get it fat enough to eat on Easter Sunday ....

'The Showgirl Must Go On!'

Bette is back in Vegas in a 10 million dollar show in the Colosseum at Caesar's Palace. Celine Dion vacated the place just recently after doing her show there for the last 5 years (did she need the money or something?).

Beginning in May the Divine Miss M will alternate shows with Cher and Elton John. As she put it herself, "Does it get any gayer?"

Probably not ....

p.s: this woman is 62 this year .... there is hope for us all ....

B-52s

SHAQUE
D'AMOUR ....

2008 New Mardi Gras Party

30 years of being queer, out and proud

Happy Birthday Gay Sydney!