The Untouchables

Its not something any of us like talking about, especially the english, but intimacy is an important part of our lives.

Or the lack of it.

I do feel untouchable a lot of the time. This is very difficult for me as I am by nature a very tactile person. I like to keep physical contact with loved ones around me.

Something about touching other people calms and reassures me, and I hope them. Its my way of saying non-verbally that they are a part of my life.

Real intimacy, down dirty intimacy, full insertion intimacy is something I miss very much. Sex was always my way of being close to other men when there was no emotional bond. Having sex with them meant I could feel their skin, smell them, taste them.

Since my sex life has become so dramatically reduced, I can't help but feel a sort of deadening happening in my body. I'm not used to people touching me unawares. My body goes into shock almost if someone tries to get too close, especially 'down there'.

Alcohol and drugs helped to loosen my inhibitions, but since I have to be careful about that now I'm afraid the sex has gone completely out the window.

So I bought a Teddy bear for the first time in my life, and I sleep with him, and that's okay as long as I don't feel the need to fuck him.

Rectal trauma and drug use key in sexual transmission of HCV

The factors involved in the sexual transmission of hepatitis C virus amongst HIV-positive gay men may be more complex than previously thought, according to German research presented to the recent 4th International AIDS Society Conference in Sydney.

Investigators from Bonn initially found, in common with several other recent studies, that unprotected anal intercourse was associated with a risk of hepatitis C. But in subsequent statistical analysis, only snorting drugs and rectal bleeding after sex were risk factors for infection with hepatitis C. The study’s researchers fear that hepatitis C prevention that focuses only on consistent condom use could be too narrow in its cope and overlook potentially more important risk behaviours.

Doctors from across Europe have been observing mini-epidemics of hepatitis C virus in HIV-positive gay men. Several studies have implicated unprotected anal sex as a significant risk factor for the sexual transmission of hepatitis C, with other research showing an association with fisting, drug use and some sexually transmitted infections.

Although few would seriously doubt that hepatitis C is being sexually transmitted between HIV-positive gay men, there is, nevertheless, very little evidence of sexual transmission of the virus in HIV-negative gay men, or in HIV-positive heterosexual couples. Although one study found that hepatitis C was more likely to be found in the semen of those with HIV, therefore explaining transmission of the virus via unprotected sex, some investigators believe that the factors involved in the sexual transmission of hepatitis C may be much more complex.

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